5 Ways to Manage the Brain’s Love Affair With Anxiety

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Counseling seeks to modify or eliminate anxiety in a few months or years, a trait that took 300,000 years to become part of our DNA. Good luck with that change.

Why It’s Difficult to Eliminate Anxiety

Our DNA is reluctant to give up behaviors with a high survival value, and anxiety is right up there with the top ones. Imagine two Homo sapiens ancestors eating a meal of raw squirrel 300,000 years ago. One enjoys the sunset so much that he ignores the rustling behind a bush. His meal partner, a much wiser individual, becomes alerted to the danger the noise signals, becomes anxious, and runs for safety. While the first Homo sapiens became lunch for a saber-toothed cat, the second created a memory that, over thousands of years, became part of the species' DNA.

Even though saber-toothed cats no longer exist, that ancient gene is activated when you watch an aggressive neighbor raking his leaves onto your lawn, hear that your child was just arrested, or are unsure of your partner’s intentions behind a vague question.

A Roadblock Approach for Managing Anxiety

Nearly 30 percent of Americans will experience an anxiety disorder in their lifetimes, and anxiety is the most frequent disorder psychologists treat. Although there is considerable variation in psychotherapeutic approaches, few start with the idea that the greater the survival value of a trait, such as anxiety, the more resistant it is to elimination. For those who have found it challenging to manage their anxiety through traditional psychotherapy, try one or more of the following five strategies to disrupt the brain’s attachment to anxiety.

• Break the Links Between Situations Producing Anxiety. Research indicates that recollecting one negative experience frequently activates another negative memory, continuing in a sequence like a chain of dominos. Don’t dwell on a past affront. The longer you recount it, the more negative memories will appear and the greater the anxiety you will experience.
• Assume Your Memories Are Rarely Accurate. Based on extensive research into memory retrieval, even the most honest and objective individuals will provide an account of what they believe happened that will be different from the actual occurrence. Recent studies suggest that the more intense the emotions associated with a memory, the more likely it is to become distorted. Assume that whatever it is you are remembering is not accurate.
• Stop Retelling the Same Story. We rarely tell a story only once—especially the negative ones. Every retelling modifies the memory of it, not because you intentionally alter it, but because of the brain’s neurology. The more often memories are raised to consciousness or verbalized, the more distant your recollection will be of the truth. Negative memories are more likely to become more negative with each retelling.
• Reduce the Emotional Impact of the Memory. Since one negative thought can trigger others and potentially lead to depression, the sooner you stop a negative thought, the less likely it is to spiral out of control. Systematic desensitization is an effective technique that gradually reduces the emotional impact of the memory. For more severe trauma, like PTSD, recent studies using psychedelics have shown effectiveness. The fewer times a negative memory is told, the less likely it will be reinforced, linked, etc. The greater the emotional attachment to a memory, the stronger it will likely be defended.
• Balance Negativity With Positive Experiences. Picture a negative memory as an overweight bully who jumps on the end of your seesaw, keeping you elevated until he decides to let you down. That’s anxiety. Now imagine three friends jumping onto your side to counterbalance anxiety’s weight. While it may be impossible to eliminate a memory that produces anxiety, countering it with three positive actions can be quite effective, ideally from the cognitive, artistic, and physical realms.

The Takeaway

In an interview, the musician Wynton Marsalis shared that his mother believed life had a paddle for everyone’s behind. We can’t escape anxiety. If we are engaged in the world, we will feel it. It's a small price to pay for living. Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety—because of our genetics, a dubious goal at best—place roadblocks to disrupt the brain’s love affair with it.

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