Avoiding Avoidance

Eric avoided doing lots of things in life, from going to the dentist to paying his taxes. He avoided anything that might cause him any anxiety. This inevitably caused him even more anxiety. Eric wasn’t just procrastinating, he was running away from things that were difficult for him. Life had become a constant struggle and avoidance behaviors were sabotaging his life.

Avoidance is common. We all tend to avoid certain people, places, and things from time to time. In more severe cases, however, avoidance behavior can rule our lives and hinder our personal growth.

What is avoidance behavior?

Avoidance behavior refers to any act that allows a person to avoid a situation that triggers their anxiety. Those who engage in this behavior tend to avoid anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, from situations, interactions, and responsibilities, to emotions, feelings, and thoughts. They might avoid medical appointments as part of health-related anxiety. They may avoid particular people, such as authority figures like a professor or boss, and family members, due to conflict or emotional strain. Some avoid obligations including academic tasks like assignments or meeting work deadlines and job-related stressors. Others avoid physical sensations and experiences, such as medical tests or treatment, due to a fear of pain or bad news.

Avoidance is often conflated with procrastination, but the two behaviors are different. Procrastination involves postponing or delaying a specific task or action, like putting off washing the dishes or writing a report. Some people have low motivation, and it can be harder for them to complete a task that’s not fun, exciting, or rewarding. On the other hand, avoidance refers to pushing away people, situations, or thoughts altogether, to avert threat, perceived danger, discomfort, or anxiety. We can say that procrastination is based in laziness, whereas avoidance is based in fear and anxiety.

Understanding avoidance

People resort to avoidance as a way to address worry and stress. It is a coping mechanism for anxiety that’s borne of trauma or fear. Avoiding things can seem easier in the short term and even bring a temporary sense of relief in the moment. Long-term avoidance, however, can actually increase anxiety and reinforce fears. Avoidance behaviors can negatively impact a person’s quality of life. For instance, avoiding necessary trips to the dentist or meeting financial responsibilities can have real-world consequences. In severe cases, anxiety can lead to a reliance on some sort of crutch to cope with the emotional pain, such as alcohol, food, drugs, or sex.

Avoidance is a behavior. It’s not a mental health condition per se, however, it can accompany some conditions, including anxiety and depression disorders, eating disorders, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and borderline personality disorder. (Hofmann and Hay, 2018) Avoidance behaviors are also linked to Avoidant Personality Disorder, which is characterized by poor self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and an intense fear of criticism or rejection.

How to avoid avoidance

Support is available for those people who suffer from avoidance behaviors. For some, lifestyle changes such as better sleep, exercise, meditation, and mindfulness can be beneficial. An important part of tackling avoidance is awareness, determining one’s avoidance strategies, and acquiring healthier coping skills to overcome them. Therapy can help to examine the root causes of these behaviors and develop tools to cope with the distress. Research has found that older adults report less avoidance behavior than younger adults, so it is likely that these issues can decrease with age. (Wuthrich and Mohlman, 2023)

The good news is that people can unlearn their negative thoughts and behaviors and adopt healthier coping mechanisms to break free from their avoidance behaviors.