Recovering From Emotional Abuse

You can heal from emotional abuse

Posted Dec 07, 2017

After you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship there is a lot of trauma to process. People stay in toxic relationships for decades. Can you imagine how much abuse is endured over that period of time? It's hard to quantify it, but it's a lot. Surviving this sort of Traumatic experience has an impact on your self-esteem.

Emotional abuse is taxing on your mind and spirit. If you have gotten out of an abusive relationship you should congratulate yourself and understand that you have done something that is extremely hard to do. If you are stuck in an abusive relationship do not punish yourself and understand that is extremely difficult to leave that kind of a dynamic. However, there is hope and you can get better. Once you are able to figure out a safe way to leave the relationship, you can begin to heal and that is what the most important thing is. Step one is finding a way out and step two is actively working on healing yourself. 

Remember that this abusive relationship isn't your life. You are not stuck in this situation and you are able to leave with the help of resources. The most important part of recovery is remembering who you are. When you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship you forget who your true self is. You lose sight of it because the abuser teaches you to believe that you are worthless even though this isn’t true. It's hard to see through the smoke of deception that the abuser has created.  

Your self-esteem has diminished to the point where you are feeling like you’re worthless and that's a painful place to be. It's important to remember that this feeling doesn’t have anything to do with you and it’s more of a reflection of the person who is being abusive and they are not well themselves. Their self-esteem is low and they are projecting that onto you.

Now that you've left the relationship, it's time to remember who you are. You’re free of the ties to that abusive individual. Think about what you love about you. Remember what it was like before you got into this relationship. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your spare time? What makes you excited about life?

Remember that triggers from this old relationship will come up at times and it’s important to address them right away. You can work on them in therapy. Don’t ignore them or suppress them. Repressing your triggers is going to make you feel much worse. In order to heal from your abusive relationship, you need to be honest about your pain so that you can work through it in a healthy way.

Remember you are a whole person. If you feel broken that’s normal. If you feel shattered that is completely understandable. But you have the ability to find the person that you truly are inside. Be patient with yourself and accept help from others. You are not alone.

Unsplash 2017
Source: Unsplash 2017