Self-Help for Chronic Worriers

Source: Alexa from Pixabay

Consistent and chronic worry is a part of human nature. It is so common that traditions have developed worldwide to help manage worries.

Now used by cultures around the world, strings of worry beads were first developed for use in prayer by Greek Orthodox monks. They continue to be used worldwide, not usually in a religious context but as a way to diffuse the tension of worrying.

Similarly, in Guatemala and Mexico, tiny worry dolls were historically given to children to help them hand over their worries and fall asleep at night. After telling one’s worries to the dolls, they are placed under a pillow where they "hold" the worries so that the person can rest peacefully. They continue to be used by adults and children within various cultures.

Catastrophizing vs. Worrying

Possibly the most intense type of worry is catastrophizing, which is imagining the worst possible outcome(s) of a situation that is causing concern. In addition to focusing on the worst-case scenario(s), the person catastrophizing often feels convinced that the horrible outcome is not only possible but is likely to occur.

Anyone who suffers from chronic anxiety has probably found themselves catastrophizing at some point. In fact, while most people have at least occasional catastrophic thoughts, those with anxiety disorders and/or clinical depression are prone to frequent catastrophic thoughts. When this type of thinking is pervasive, it can be difficult to function.

Symptoms of generalized anxiety (as specified in the DSM-5) can include restlessness, tiredness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, and very often, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. Although catastrophizing is not a diagnosis in itself, it may overlap with some symptoms experienced by someone living with generalized anxiety.

Unfortunately, there’s no simple or quick way to stop catastrophizing. Rooted in extreme anxiety, it stems from the uncertainty that is an unavoidable part of daily life. The good news is that there are a variety of different coping skills, largely based on cognitive-behavioral therapy, that can be used for self-help to stop a cycle of catastrophizing.

The following are some of the ways to manage this self-destructive habit. Consider this list to be a toolbox of skills. You might choose the ones that appeal to you and practice using them. With practice, they become much easier to use, and more quickly effective.

Tips to Manage Catastrophizing

1. Imagine a good-enough outcome and replace the catastrophic outcome with a better one. For example, you may be terrified of losing your job because of a serious mistake that you made at work. It could be just as likely that your mistake doesn't result in job loss, but only in some critical feedback and warnings at your performance review. Although stressful, that outcome is not a catastrophe.

2. Think of the ideal outcome and consider that it is also a possibility. This works best for those who tend to be idealistic when not overly stressed. Instead of being fired for that mistake at work, you learned something very valuable from it, which will lead to greater career success in your future.

3. Look ahead beyond the critical event that looms. Whatever the outcome of that event, future events beyond that might be completely different from what you’re expecting. Allow yourself to imagine that it all works out in the longer term. What does that future look like?

Shifting to a different example, you're convinced that you'll fail the final exam in a class critical to your major field of study. Maybe you do fail the class, but that leads you to change your focus to a new field of study that is much better suited to your strengths.

Catastrophizing Essential Reads

Catastrophizing: Why We Proclaim Our Worst Fears

3 Tips to Keep Your Catastrophic Thoughts at Bay

4. Visualize in detail a possible neutral or better outcome. Keep that image in your mind. Create a clear and detailed image of the future situation which is desirable for you. Picture yourself feeling content, making progress, and succeeding at whatever you're focused upon. Neuroscientist and author Dr. Tara Swart writes about the power of visualization, followed by reflection and action, to create the outcomes that you intend for yourself (Swart, 2020).

5. Take some simple action that provides you with comfort in the moment. It might be taking a short walk, handling some worry beads, having a cup of herbal tea, or messaging a friend. Action relieves anxiety, which is the underlying cause of worry and catastrophizing.

6. Monitor yourself and notice if you're spiraling. Spiraling refers to the escalation of anxiety when worrisome thoughts lead to more worrisome thoughts and eventually to catastrophic thoughts. Becoming self-aware at these moments of escalation gives you an opportunity to stop them in their tracks. You might follow up with the thought-stopping skill described next.

7. When you notice that your thoughts are spiraling out of control, give yourself a verbal cue to "stop." Stop focusing on whatever is on your mind and redirect your focus to something in your environment. You might try a mindfulness technique for anxiety management, in which you focus upon a sound or image or anything that you can sense in your immediate environment (NIH, 2017, 2020).

8. Don't deceive yourself into believing that worrying about someone else is helpful to them or that it's a sign of caring. This is a risk for parents who might worry excessively about their children, and for adult children who worry about their parents. It's understandable to have concerns for loved ones, but that's different from worrying about the worst possible outcomes for them. No one benefits from the process of catastrophizing because it doesn't lead to actionable solutions for problems.

9. Know that there are people who will help you if needed. Identify the people in your life who have been there for you or who show potential to be there if needed. Allow yourself to trust in them for some degree of emotional or practical support.

10. Build your self-confidence in your own ability to handle uncertainty, including the risk of poor outcomes. You likely have more resilience than you give yourself credit for. Reflect on times in your past when you bounced back from adversity. If this is the first major setback in your life, you might see it as a chance to build your resilience.

Final Thoughts

Catastrophizing can quickly feel out of control, but it can be managed with techniques such as those described here. Management essentially means redirection of the focus of thought as well as using some self-comforting behaviors. Thoughts can be redirected away from terrible outcomes and toward acceptable or even desirable outcomes. With practice, this redirection happens more quickly and easily.

As the philosopher Seneca once said, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.