Relationships
7 Tips to Help You Successfully Respond to Change
Working with change to benefit your future.
Posted September 28, 2019
Change is inevitable. Yet, there are those who resist change, stubbornly hanging on to life as they want it to be rather than as it really is. For some, change is daunting, even frightening, while others boldly embrace it, welcoming whatever change brings. It’s safe to say that a person’s make-up, their temperament, and their attitude about life contribute to how they weather change.
What you believe about change plays an enormous role in the way you navigate change as well. Our core beliefs are largely molded by those who influence us from our earliest years.
So imagine if what you hear about change is negative and fear-based: “Don’t take risks; there’s too much to lose.” And what about the implied, often unspoken message, “We don’t want you to change”? It’s essential to identify what you believe about change on your own, without outside influence.
Starting right here, right now, there are some basic things you can actually do to help you negotiate and navigate successfully through change.
Understand the emotional stages of change. It helps to know that change is not chaotic (although you may feel confused and thrown into chaos while it’s happening) and that there is a predictable, recognizable, sequential way to understand change.
The stages of change are experienced as loss, uncertainty, discomfort, insight, understanding, and integration. Remember, you’re giving up something, losing something, in order to gain something else. During this early stage, you may not know where you’re going or how things will work out. You may doubt yourself and your decision to change. It feels uncomfortable, but that’s not an unusual response.
The critical piece is between discomfort and insight, where you have to make a decision to move further along the path to change or retreat back to the familiar. If you stick with it, you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and the benefits of the change.
Keep things in perspective. Being able to step back and observe the change that is occurring within “the bigger picture” of your life helps to moderate how you think and feel about a certain event. Any singular change or transition, may not seem as sweeping and dramatic if placed within this context. Learning to keep things in proper perspective may help reduce distraction and mitigate emotional responses, keeping you solidly focused on the “here and now” of your life.
Have a purpose. No matter how many major changes and transitions you experience in your lifetime, having an organizing guiding principle (your values and goals) that is vital to you and gives meaning to your life is essential. Purpose is also supported by keeping an open mind and being curious about the possibilities that change promises. In addition, being flexible and staying motivated will buoy your resiliency and help you persevere.
Positivity goes a long way. Expect that things will not always move in a straight line. More likely, things will unfold in a “start and stop” fashion. Accepting this will temper your expectations and help you move forward realistically. A sense of optimism will help equalize the hills and valleys and keep you focused and committed.
Stay focused on who you are and what you need. This is sometimes difficult to do since so much of the way we define ourselves is through the “externals” of life—our relationships, work, status, etc. “No man is an island,” and we don’t live life only considering ourselves.
Often, compromise is necessary to satisfy all of the other external influences that are an integral part of our life. Having said that, it’s essential that you understand what you need to make change feel satisfactory and worthwhile to you even if you don’t totally get what you want.
Learn patience. “Rome was not built in a day.” Things generally do not happen overnight. In fact, it may take quite a while before a desired and/or reasonable outcome is reached. So much of human behavior is reactionary, not directly responsive, and often not responsible.
Don’t be impulsive, push too hard, or try to rush the results. Sometimes things have a way of working out that you had not thought about. Patience will help you arrive at the best possible place you need to be.
Be persistent. Change is complex and multi-layered. It may take a lot of time and effort before all the pieces fall into place. At times, it may be easy to want to give up, especially when things are not going your way, or when it seems like there’s too much to overcome, or when you feel like you’re hanging in limbo for too long. Keep at it; the outcome or solution you’re seeking may be just around the corner.
Stay practical. Some changes require an immediate response to remedy a situation, but in most instances, there’s simply no rush to the finish line. Go about your life in a way that focuses attention on maintaining balance. Stay present, firmly rooted in the here and now. In other words, create a structure that provides stability and support while you’re in the process of transitioning.
Experience is a great teacher. The more experience you have with the process of change, the more you come to know what to expect along the way. More importantly, you gain knowledge through your own cumulative personal transitions about your response to change. Over time, you have the opportunity to alter your responses to change in order to create a more satisfying experience.