7 Reasons to Talk to Yourself Out Loud

As a child, I realized that one person I enjoyed talking to was myself. This behavior was not encouraged, and I didn’t witness others doing it, so I assumed talking to myself was eccentric and undesirable.

Later, in college, however, I discovered there were other people who also talked to themselves. And still later, as a psychology professor, I observed the prevalence and usefulness of speaking to oneself.

In my class on personality, I assign a day of silence. Students go a full day without talking, from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed. When the assignment is initially given out, the two main concerns are what to do at work and how to interact with one’s romantic partner. Afterward, however, many students report that the most prominent deprivation is not being able to talk to themselves. They have difficulty not commenting on their own behavior, not exclaiming, not swearing, and not offering self-guidance.

Inner self-talk takes up a lot of our waking lives, and we accept our inner voice as a dominant format for thought. What’s potentially provocative is externalizing this inner voice and making it vocal.

Interestingly, having a dialogue with oneself in writing is acceptable—even encouraged. With a journal, we talk to an imagined other, and with a diary, we talk to the page—“Dear Diary.” They’re both externalized forms of talking to ourselves, and they’re both beneficial to our well-being. So it makes sense to consider the less circumscribed act of speaking to oneself as a healthy and affirming way to externalize our inner voice.

What follows is an exploration of when and how talking aloud to ourselves can help us.

1. Guidance During Complex Activities

Talking aloud to ourselves keeps us focused during tasks that have several steps, such as assembling IKEA furniture or sewing on a button—“Push the needle through the hole, watch your finger, loop the thread through a different opening.” Language moves forward, step by step, so talking out loud to oneself helps sequence specific actions, while also facilitating the transitions between successive actions.

Talking aloud to oneself also provides feedback, constructive criticism, and reinforcement (“wrong direction ... turn the wrench the other way ... good job”).

2. Taking Time to Process Disquieting or Novel Experiences

Talking out loud to ourselves helps us comprehend and manage unusual and surprising events in the world, as well as distressing developments that almost all of us experience, such as relationship difficulties and illness.

People traveling alone or engaging in activities such as hiking find that talking aloud to themselves in novel environments makes these environments more understandable, while also providing self-reinforcement, self-management, and social assessment.

3. Learning New Material

Thinking out loud while studying difficult material increases engagement with the material and the enjoyment of learning it. For example, research on students learning to become paramedics showed that talking aloud promoted the development of clinical reasoning skills, while also increasing satisfaction with learning these skills.

4. Improving Performance

Talking out loud to ourselves improves our performance with upcoming activities. Basketball players, for example, perform faster and better after they’ve talked through their moves out loud.

More generally, voicing positive self-talk increases motivation before a performance—with athletes and with artists, including dancers, musicians, and actors.

5. Processing Past Events

After frustrating circumstances, such as awkward social interactions or disappointing academic performances, we can overcome regret and reduce self-criticism more effectively by talking aloud to ourselves afterwards.

6. Monitoring Our Internal Dialogue

Internal self talk that is negative is harmful, and the same goes for externalized self talk. Importantly, talking out loud makes negative self-talk more obvious, allowing us to hear our negativity and correct it more readily.

In this way, talking aloud to ourselves maximizes the benefits of favorable and affirmative self-talk by keeping negative dialogue under control.

7. Promoting Self-Distancing

Talking to ourselves out loud using the pronoun “You” or, better yet, our first name promotes self-distancing, which then enhances our ability to regulate our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. With “You” or our name, we are better able to observe the self we’re talking to and to act on our observations.

If you’re questioning an emotional response, for example, you could say, “Why do I feel this way?” Or (if your first name is Emily), you could say, “Why do you feel this way, Emily?” This second phrasing, using your own name, is more self-distancing and more effective in understanding your emotional self.

If we talk to ourselves using the first person pronoun “I,” we enmesh our speaking and listening selves and are less likely to encourage the required distancing for self-guidance. What seems like a subtle rewording on the page makes a significant difference while self-talking out loud.

In a study by Kross and his colleagues, participants who said their own name or “You” during preparatory self-talk performed better on a public speech (as assessed by independent judges) than participants who prepared using the first person “I.” Those who used their first name or “You” also experienced less self-criticism afterwards about perceived flaws of the speech and spent less time ruminating about its shortcomings.

Final Words About Our Selves

Before leaving this subject, one question should be addressed: When we speak to ourselves, who is speaking, and who is listening? After all, each of us is a single being.

In fact, we are naturally two selves. Consider a few common expressions that reveal these two selves: self-control, self-criticism, self-deprecation, self-respect. With self-control, for example, a regulating self tries to manage an appetitive self. With self-criticism, a judging self is assessing a noticeably faulty self.

A broader way of thinking about our inherent two-ness is the distinction between I and Me. When talking to ourselves, the I talks to the Me.¹

For those of us comfortable with externalizing the I and the Me, talking out loud to ourselves can bring considerable benefit. Speaking to ourselves can help us with carrying out complex activities, managing surprising or unsettling events, learning difficult material, rehearsing for performances, reflecting on past events, and watching out for negativity in our self-talk.

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