By Nando Pelusi Ph.D., published on November 2, 2007 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016
I have a 23-year-old bipolar daughter who seems incapable of holding a job. She has had 16 jobs to date and has been fired from all of them. Is there anything I can do to help?
There may be many reasons why your daughter could be having trouble holding a job, and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder might give us a clue as to how to help her. Just like unipolar depression, bipolar disorder brings emotional and practical problems to overcome. I presume that she is currently under some professional care for medication, which stabilizes the emotional swings to a functional degree. Let's help her weave together a philosophy about bipolar depression that allows her to weather the emotional storms with minimal stress to herself.
Many people with bipolar disorder hold down jobs—although they may suffer emotionally. Some also work very hard to monitor their thoughts and moods. People with bipolar use a type of thinking known as overgeneralization. Overgeneralizations are ideas that propound a form of thinking that is absolute and unrelenting—ideas that are fixed in either an overly negative, or overly grandiose direction. Thus, the person with bipolar may experience two distinct moods—very up or very down. This kind of thinking: "Poor me, I'm always left behind," or, "No one cares for me, therefore I'm worthless" keeps your daughter vulnerable, wounded, and hurt. It is hard to buck up against the onslaught of these negative ideas.
Appropriate medication and psychotherapy are a key part of treatment. And while the physiology of BPD requires stabilization, so do some of the over-generalizing thoughts that accompany episodes of upset. These include:
Other triggers for episodes are seasonal changes, sleep disruption, and interpersonal conflict. As we seek to control the physiology—we also seek to control the psychology, the beliefs about her own self, others, the world, and the future.
A good approach would focus on managing your daughter's ideational triggers. By getting her to recognize the external and internal triggers for her upset, we can then focus on some goals:
As her emotions stabilize with a combination of medication and good cognitive restructuring, her chances of enjoying her life more and more (and holding down a good job) improve dramatically.