The Demanding Diva

Are you a drama queen? How to stop hogging the spotlight.

By Jennifer Magid, published on September 1, 2007 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016

"Drama is a state you create, not something that has to be," says Ellen McGrath. Do you need to drop out of the drama club? Here's how to stop hogging the spotlight.

  • Accept A New Role

    Commit to dialing it down. Leave yourself "no more drama!" Post-it notes and tell friends you're working on becoming less hammy and demanding.

  • Become A Supporting Actor

    The next time you're in a social situation, pay attention to everyone else's (more subtle) dramas as they unfold. Try to enjoy the show, without inserting yourself into the spotlight.

  • Resist Going On Stage

    Drama queens and kings are action people—they express feelings before they've thought about them. Notice when you're getting triggered into drama mode, take a deep breath—and be quiet.

  • Practice Your Lines

    Verbalize the problem that makes you feel like acting out, suggests McGrath. Instead of breaking into a rhapsody of insults about the rude bank teller, ask her to speak to you more respectfully. Instead of locking yourself in the bedroom and sobbing loudly, tell your partner how he's hurt your feelings.

  • Don't Make Diva Demands

    You may have learned that throwing a tantrum will eventually get you your way. Stop making unreasonable requests of those who comply because they're afraid of your antics.