Gaudeamus Igitur

Each spring, the pundits and poohbahs of America sharpen their skills on whatmay be the country's largest captive audience--the thousands of young men and women graduating from colleges and universities.

Just what kind of counsel do they deliver? Below, a sample of the wisdom spewed in commencements past. (Most of it can be found in Graduation Day, a new compilation published by William Morrow.)

"When I graduated from college, I watched a candidate for summa cum laude honors walk up me stairs to be recognized, step on the in. side hem of his gown, and walk all the way up the inside of R. H was something mat we all remembered as an object lesson in how talent and intelligence might fare in this world."

--Garrison Keillor, 1987, Gettysburg College

"Being twenty-something is all about taking it in, eating K, drinking it, and spitting out the seeds later. It's about being fearless and stupid and dangerous and unfocused and abandoned. It's about being in it, not on top of it."

--Jodie Foster, 1993, Yale

"So live that you can look any man in the eye and tell him to go to hell."

--John D. Rockefeller, Jr., 1930, Dartmouth

"If I had to restrict myself to Just one [counsel], I would want to praise the virtue of obstinacy."

--Susan Sontag, 1983, Wellesley

"Avoid the word `career' and even `profession'... Continue to investigate."

--Ken Burns, 1987, Hampshire College

"What you learned in college will be of absolutely no use to you whatsoever. College is actually not much more than a place where parents who can afford it store their children for four years, because they can't stand hewing them around the house while they age."

--Andy Rooney, 1996, Colgate