Battling Battering

When a female coworker shows up with a black eye or swollen lip,
it's hard to know what to say. But these injuries -- along with upsetting
phone calls, missed workdays, and a tendency to be distracted -- may be
telltale signs that she's in an abusive relationship. And coworkers can
often help.

"The workplace is critical in establishing the employee's safety
and helping her feel that she is not isolated," says psychologist Iris
Sangiuliano, Ph.D., who's been an advisor for New York City's domestic
violence awareness efforts. "The batterer often tries to close her off
from family, friends, even her church. Sometimes the only people she has
left are coworkers."

The San Francisco-based Family Violence Prevention Fund suggests
the following guidelines for handling the situation:

o Establish a rapport with the employee. (Sangiuliano stresses that
it's better to talk to the employee alone, rather than in a group setting
where she might feel put on the spot.)

o Listen without judging. Often a battered woman believes her
abuser's negative messages.

o Remind her that she is not responsible for the abuse, and that
physical violence is never acceptable in a relationship.

o Suggest that she call 1-800-799 SAFE, the National Domestic
Violence Hotline, to find local shelters, counseling, and legal
assistance, and to establish a plan for her safety.

o If she's your employee, give her time off to go to a shelter. If
she gets a restraining order, distribute the batterer's picture to
reception area personnel and inform them that the batterer is not allowed
in the office or through the phone system.

o To educate coworkers about the issue, call the National Workplace
Resource center on Domestic Violence at (415) 252-8900.