My experiences in martial arts have had a huge influence on me. The concepts of self-discipline, focus, body awareness and respect for others, along with the overall health benefits have been usefully applied in many aspects of my life. This influence began back when I was 13 for no better reason than my older brother did karate. Read More
Teaching your partner to satisfy you is similar to teaching a teenager to drive. Teaching both skills requires giving clear and direct verbal instructions, as well as providing demonstrations. Read More
I just spent the week with Sookie Stackhouse in Bon Temps, Louisiana. I had never seen an episode of True Blood until six days ago when I watched episode 1 season 1 on HBOGO on my ipad. Yesterday, I left Sookie screaming in the Finale of Season 4. Read More
In my decades of practice as a psychotherapist, this is the insight that has inspired me most: Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts.
I've found that the very qualities we're most ashamed of, the ones we keep trying to reshape or hide, are in fact the key to finding real love. I call them core gifts.
For his movies Brad Pitt has to memorize lines and carefully think through his motivations. But in real life he doesn't seem to think before he speaks. In fact, he could use a second take. In a recent interview with Parade magazine he basically said that he didn't like his life much when he was married to Jennifer Aniston and that their marriage was, well, boring. Read More
It's messy. It's passionate. And the first time usually hurts the most. Studying this four-letter word is perhaps the most daunting of tasks for psychologists. I am, of course, referring to the all-consuming, universal, experience of L-O-V-E. Read More
Whether it's the neighbor whose holiday decorations always have to be more extravagant or the coworker who grabs the credit for every project, competitive people can get your hackles up. Read how to keep your cool and remain strategic to get the best results. Read More
The two most likely candidates for affairs are old flames and work associates. Most affairs occur because naïve partners slide into sexual situations they can't handle. Given the potency of sexual feelings with a new partner, policies for protection from their pull are key to prevention of inadvertent infidelities. Learn about gerbils to understand why. Read More
I am a sexologist which encompasses the study of human sexual (and relationship) behavior. I am often asked the equivalent of how a nice girl like me gets into a field like this. The credit (blame, if you take an oppositional view) belongs to San Francisco Sex Information’s Training for Volunteers. Read More
I was best friends with this girl for about three years. We did everything together, we hung out at school, went out together after school, and then IM-ed each other every day for hours. She was one of the best friends I've ever had. Read More
Do you believe "the meek shall inherit the earth," it's best to "turn the other cheek," or that kindness will overcome unkindness? If you do, you're probably teaching people to treat you badly. Read More
Have you ever dated someone who just wouldn't commit? Believe it or not, there are ways of influencing promises of monogamy and even marriage. In fact, some matchmakers seem to be using them. You can too! Read More
Susan's mother just called -- "Could she go with her to the doctor's on Wednesday afternoon?" she asked. Susan sighed. Oh, course, she said, without even thinking. She looked at her calendar. It was going to be another tough day. Read More
In the world of love so often we become trapped in unspoken expectations and hidden agendas. Waiting for "what's next" we miss the "now" of a faint smile that says "I need you." An amorous look that says, "I want you." A tense moment that says, "Something isn't working, let's fix it." Or a simple "Thank you." Are meaningful moments eluding us? Read More