In the Name of Love

A Philosopher Looks at Our Deepest Emotions

Aaron Ben-Zeév is President and Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa. His books include: In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and its Victims. See full bio

June 5, 2009, Philosophy

Comments on "Darling, Does Your Tolerance Toward Me Imply that You Do Not Love Me?"

Darling, Does Your Tolerance Toward Me Imply that You Do Not Love Me?

By Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. on June 5, 2009 in In the Name of Love

Darling, if you not are merely sexually attracted to me, but are profoundly in love with me, please do not tolerate me, as tolerance is often associated with being neutral. Just love me the way I am. Read More

You or Me?

Submitted by C on June 6, 2009 - 5:39am.

I have been here MOST recently,
it's not that you don't love the other person. You do. It's that you stop loving yourself in the mix.

When a person is bad, or bad to you, you loose love for yourself by tollerating it. Even if the person you are with is someone you love.

I find, with a heavy heart, to stop tolerating others for your love of them and, instead, love yourself and find a match where the negative aspects of 'tolerating' are not present.

Very good article.

good point

Submitted by Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. on June 6, 2009 - 7:19pm.

You make a very important point. The impact of tolerance upon our own values is quite significant for its justification. Tolerance cannot mean giving up our values or becoming a different person. It does imply, however, a valuable compromise.