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In the first post in this Wedding Season series, I took on the caricatures of single people as selfish by comparing them to the top-this extravaganzas that many contemporary weddings have become. Here, I share something that really grabbed me about some of the ceremonies of the past: They were more likely to underscore the links between the couple and the other people in their lives than the specialness of the couple apart from everyone else. Read More
Even though...
Even though you constantly refer to "the newlyweds", this only conceals the fact that it's really all about the bride. A ("traditional") wedding is an orgy of female narcissism, financed by someone else, a celebration that She has won The Man Prize. I liked what Lori Leibovich had to say on this: "The first time I bought a bridal magazine, I felt like I was buying porn."
Almost no one cares who the groom is... as Cari Carpenter put it "the wedding section of the local bookstore boasted a dazzling array of books for The Bride while there was only one book directed to The Groom: an emaciated, pathetic little volume that reminded him to bring clean underwear along on the honeymoon." Most men feel sorta like conscripted bystanders at their wife's weddings.
You're right. Most men I
You're right. Most men I have known would clearly have preferred to say their vows before a justice of the peace and be done with it. Weddings, as they are celebrated today, are all about the bride, a once-in-a-lifetime event for her to feel like a "princess." I can't tell you how tired I get of hearing that phrase. "It's MY day!" "I feel like a princess!" If anything, this is the one day that isn't supposed to be about yourself but about somebody else, the person you're dedicating your life to. It disgusts me how it's turned into a celebration of the self!
I don't know, in some ways, I
I don't know, in some ways, I definitely agree- wedding excess is marketed to women. However, I have met women who wanted to elope to Vegas and men who want lavish, "traditional" weddings. As for the gifts, men are definitely on board, trust me. Most showers I attend, I know that all that ridiculously expensive kitchen wear is going directly to the groom.
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