Buddy System

I am enjoying your discussion of male friendships.

It's one reason why men have such a hard time following a divorce. Women network and form social support groups much easier than men.

Much is the way we're socialized.

It's hard for a middle age man recently divorced to form friendships and social networks.

It is hard starting over after a breakup and if individual friends have not been part of your life while in a relationship, they can be hard to form afterward. It can be even harded if someone connects the breakup to something about their own personality (a natural thing to do, though it may not be accurate.)
Getting involved in things that you enjoy doing is one way of making friends in a non-pressured way. Whether it is meeting once a month to clean a road, biking every Sunday, or playing chess in the park, you will attract like minded people that are seeking interesting activity-mates. Some times that can lead to new relationships.

Making friends through activities you like? Ha! It may be a good resolution to men. I am very analytical and intellectual woman. As much as I enjoy dancing, swimming or playing tennis, I found it rather difficult to be friends with people I do those activities with. They are just workout/exercise buddies, or superficial "friends". My boyfriend feel the same. He never feels the urge or the rapport to talk to his tennis partners about his true feelings.

I haven't figured out the best way to make supportive friends who can actually listen to you and who really want to share their real self with you. I think my REAL friends are mostly from junior high/high school. We don't live in the same city, but a phone conversation with an old friend can bring out tremendous amount of support that people who you simply do things with can't provide. It is good to kill time with sports or healthy hobbies, but I don't know how much they could really feed our deep social needs.