Domestic Intelligence

From surly teens to tough mothers-in-law, how to understand what's going on in your family.
Dr. Terri Apter is Senior Tutor at Newnham College, University of Cambridge. Her most recent book is The Sister Knot (2007). Her personal website is terriapter.com. See full bio

Comments on "The science of praise"

The science of praise

Praise is a highly emotive interpersonal tool, and it is more difficult to use than we think. Read More

It seems the responses you

It seems the responses you noted to praise demonstrate a lack of confidence, belief in oneself or some other character issue. In my opinion the response of a confident person/child might be more along the lines of --Yes, thank you for noticing and you should see all the other things I do very well--or something similar depending on age and maturity. The only time praise should be in question is if and when it is given without cause or sincerity.

I often wonder what we are creating when we "over praise" youngsters and give them unearned awards and/or trophies so they don't feel left out. It marginalizes true praise when it is earned.

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