The Dance of Connection

Hi, I like your post. I'm the one who didn't change my name, although I come from a country, where it is almost obvious that a woman takes the name after her husband. My mother-in-law asks me sometime if I'm gonna change my name after our baby comes and I look at her and just don't know, what to say. Is that matter what is my last name? I'm living with this name for 33 years, I'm using it in my work (I'm a journalist) and I like it and I am who I am. And I really don't think I'd be more committed to my marriage if I'd change the name. My husband (thanks God!) is a normal guy who loves me and my choices and he doesn't have any second thought about this issue.
best wishes
A.

I did give a lot of thought to naming when I was in my teens, but I also come from a country where women have more than one option to choose from in what form they adopt if they choose to adopt their husband's name. By the time I got married, it was mostly out of my mind: I did not change my name because I did not feel my person, my personality or even the essence of our relationship has changed with making our relationship official. It would have also required an inordinate amount of paperwork and inconvenience. But if I am truly honest with myself, I have to admit that there may come a time when I am in a situation where having the same name as my husband would make our lives easier; and on that day I will send a loving nod to my principled adolescent self, recognize that I am not defined by my father's name and go ahead and change it.