Adoption Stories

I never thought about the language aspect of adoption before. You wrote a beautiful story that really gets to the heart of how important language is.

Parents face struggles we never imagined - and this is a perfect example. These situations are rarely clear-cut. It may seem simple - but in the end we all just want to have meaningful connections with our children, adopted or not.

Interesting on so many levels. I grew up in an English-speaking family, in a Spanish-speaking culture. Almost the opposite situation. Because I was younger and could pick up the language faster than my parents I was often used as family translator to the market, or any dealings outside of the home. I learned Spanish and English at an age where I thought in one language or the other. I did not translate from Spanish to English in my head, which is why adults have a harder time learning a language than kids. As a child who has the ability to communicate, to belong to a world your parents don't, there is an element of power over the parents. But for me, it was more about feeling like I'd been given a responsibility that as a child I shouldn't have to have. Why couldn't they learn Spanish as well as I could? I don't know if that means I think the parents should learn Russian instead or also, but I think it's difficult to switch the brain from thinking in one language to another without feeling unnatural and separated from the thoughts. There were times when the words to express what I wanted to say did not mean the same in English, or maybe didn't feel the same in English because it's not coming out from the same natural tendency. I went to an English-speaking school, and we were not allowed to speak Spanish in the classroom. When we were on the playground though, all the kids spoke Spanish because we were free and laughing and letting the language not skip a beat before it came out. As an adult living in the US, I do feel there is a part of my childhood memories that because my Spanish has become somewhat rusty that I can't connect with as easily as the ones in English speaking countries. For instance, as a writer, I don't feel I can write about the South American part of my childhood unless I immerse myself in the Spanish language again. I'm very sad that I have forgotten some of the language and therefore some of my memories.

As someone who loves studying languages, I wonder as to why the mother would not want to learn Russian. Heck, I borrow Pimsleur language CDs from the public library whenever I'm visiting a country where a different language is spoken, just so I can get acquainted with that aspect of the culture.

There are some great ways out there to learn foreign languages. Not all of them are tedious, repetitive, rote memorization in a classroom with a dull teacher. Some are quite effective, and if you learn more about your own learning styles, you can certainly pick up some.

I still remember an episode of Star Trek where a master negotiator opens diplomacy between two formerly feuding races by having them learn sign language to communicate with him.

Struggling to learn their language as they struggle to learn yours might really help your relationship. It'd be hard, for sure, but then they'll never lose English when they're surrounded by it everywhere...but if they were to lose Russian, they would be losing a significant skill and advantage which could help them stand out in the future from the unilingual masses.