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When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety and...uh, psychosis (I usually hold off telling people that part) it's not like I suddenly stopped being interested in dating. Read More
Reactive Attachment Anxiety Eating Disorder OCD
Hmmm. Is that all of them? Sometimes I forget one or two..
What a great read and truly priceless affirmation that yes, the ones with the "issues" are out there just like me, trying to date. For one, I have very visable, long scars on my arms from a suicide attempt that often start the conversation for me. I've taken to saying (if I'm not ready to disclose my litany of issues), "It was a bad time in my life." The ones that stick around to hear the rest are the ones that you want to date anyway. Usually, if you preface your issues with the reasons that they got there in the first place (i.e. I was born with it, had a tramatic childhood, was dropped on the head as a baby, etc) the shock value diminishes. There's even some possibility for some empathy. THEN you launch into the list of steps you are taking to "deal" with your issues.
It's not a sure plan for success, but it gives you a fighting chance. And, we're human too, despite the cards we were handed. Most of us are trying to do the best we can.
Couldn't agree with you more
Hi Catfrogs,
I couldn't agree with you more...and it's true the ones who stick around ARE the ones you want to really date anyway. Glad you could relate. Warm regards, Victoria
Illnesses are tricky
I think that any sort of medical diagnosis adds another layer of complexity to a new relationship. It's one more thing to be considered when both sides are in that critical evaluation stage.
It can be helpful, though, because it certainly gives you some rapid insight into what the other person is all about. Often you wait months (or years) before you really know the important things about the other person. Having some key information right up front can be very beneficial.
Never thought about it that way...but so true
It's true, huh? Gives you lots of insight into what kind of person it is who is sitting across the table from you or watching that movie with you...I guess better to learn more quickly than slowly...thanks for your thoughts.
Warm regards, Victoria
Most of the time everyone has
Most of the time everyone has their own baggage or skeletons in the closet. Most importantly it is part of who you are, and quite frankly nothing to be ashamed of. On the whole I have found many people to be very understanding of such issues, once they understand them. Don't let it hold you back!
Yeah...it's funny
It's funny...often when I do tell people about the disorders...usually they tell me 'oh yeah...my sister or my friend or my so and so has this...' and the conversation unfolds from there. V
Important
This is an important subject that needs attention. Should there be a special dating site for such ( treated ) people? - I think so. Sincerely,David
It's totally overlooked isn't it
I so agree - I really do think there should be some coaching or something to offer some suggestions...it's hard enough dating as it is and I think everybody could use some tips. V
It might be easier to lay your cards on the table, but.....
I would definitely wait to tell the person I'm dating that I have a mental illness. Your date might be understanding, but it doesn't mean he or she will want to date you again. There should be time so that the person you're dating knows the good qualities about you before they have a general picture of your character right up front.
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