Thanks for this thoughtful post, which is also a pleasure to read. Couldn't agree more with your thoughts on the dangers of cynicism.CPR

A sexual element (whatever this means) is present in any man-woman relationship. But this doesn't mean that a sexual relationship develops... Call it the sexual imperative if you wish but this "sexual element" is present, mostly at the beginning of the relationship, and usually disappears or is sublimated...But agreed that these friendships offers a deeper understanding not only of the other gender but of one's own. Good article.--

Faith Dance is a great blog mostly about friendship between men and women. The author has a book on the subject (hopefully) coming out...

www.danbrennan.typepad.com

Fascinating area with many interesting questions.
For me,I have learned incredible things from my
female friend relationships giving me poignant
insights about the female species. I have met
with a female friend-- for three years- three
hours a week and discuss our lives-- she is
married== I am single and its been an amazing
inquiry for me about how women see the world
so differently and operate within their domains
with other friendships. My female counterpart
is always discussing the problems she has in
her female friendships, the nuances, the struggles
etc, the betrayls-mysteries-- e-mail me I will
coauthor a book on subject-have many ideas.

Thanks for your thoughtful and enjoyable article.
I've had a close friendship with a man for many years. Although we were just friends, there was always an underlying sexual tension which was never actually realised.
He recently got married and we're still just friends.

This is an outstanding article !

Seldom we realize the importance of co-existance, and this is a wonderful example of the magic.

There is some one that becomes a "soulmate", and one can spend their whole life looking for them.

When they find them, you can beleieve they will come to realize, that what they have is a gift! Like a lock and a key; these friends are there regardless of how high the mountain or how low the valley.

To have a friendship such as is described, becomes a teaching/self examination/paradigm shift: a wonderful way to understand others, self, and how your friendships can make a bond that simply cannot be broken, regardless! The signiicant change first occurs in day to day, as loneliness, is no longer a point of view.

For some: Limerance, for some love, and for others : just my best friend !

Super article !

It is interesting that some see light,instead of the darkness in this scenario,isn't it ?

It is absolutely possible to have healthy, warm friendships between a heterosexual male and heterosexual female. I have had several such friendships throughout my life with wonderful men. They were rich, healthy relationships based on mutual respect and friendship. If there was sexual tension, given the particular situations, we were adult enough to know that it was not appropriate to act on temptation and didn't.

What I like about this article is that it addresses the gray areas at the end, that heterosexual friends get to define their own boundaries. I am attempting what I call a sensual friendship. I am male, my friend-to-be female. It is similar to what was coined a romantic friendship during the Victorian era. We will have a close bosom buddy relationship but also allow a certain amount of close physical contact where we define the ultimate physical/sexual boundaries. It will be characterized by a deep deep friendship with sensual perhaps even arousing contact. We have yet to launch this friendship so we have yet to define the limits of the physical connection or routine as coined by the article. I can visualize a certain amount of caressing but am unclear on just how far to take it without causing confusion. We are both new age thinkers with the propensity to think outside the box. I have known other friend couples that kissed, held hands, slept together but did not engage in intercourse. But I did not explore their relationships to understand their boundaries. Being about to touch, hug, caress may provide tremendous healing. Agreeing not to cross into more sexual expression is the challenge and determining to keep it private is the other. It may be misinterpretted by our romantic partners as cheating but as long as we don't consider it so, it shouldn't affect our sexually intimate relationships.