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Key points
- Most of us encounter small stresses every day.
- Having a consistent stress management routine makes it easier to keep stress levels in check.
- Link specific stress reduction practices to everyday times and activities.
There is no shortage of techniques for managing stress, from meditation and yoga to exercise and muscle relaxation. But even when you know how to unwind, finding room for it in your schedule is another matter.
Stress Drives Stress
Stress tends to be self-perpetuating, so stress leads to more stress and crowds out time for rest. The more stressed and overwhelmed you are, the less likely you are to pause and manage your stress.
Dealing effectively with stress often requires a specific plan for the what and when of stress management. Try this simple hour-by-hour program to help your nervous system to calm down (many of the exercises are adapted from The CBT Deck for Anxiety, Rumination, & Worry). Adjust the times and exercises as needed.
Morning
6:00 AM: Say Good Morning to Yourself – Start the day from a place of grounded connection. Spend one minute checking in with yourself before you get out of bed. Close your eyes and feel your body. Notice what thoughts and emotions are present. Sense the quality of the breath.
7:00 AM: Move with Awareness – Physical activity is one of the most reliable ways to discharge stress. Even five minutes can set you up for a calmer day. As you move, tune into your body, feeling how it loves to move (even if it creaks and groans a bit as you warm up!).
8:00 AM: Who Do I Want to Be? – Decide early on what kind of day you’re going to have: What thoughts will you cultivate? How will you find joy? What quality of presence will you bring to the challenges you’ll meet? Reclaim your agency as the author of this day.
9:00 AM: Find Strength – When you find yourself hoping for an easy day, shift your focus to how you’ll respond to problems. Say to yourself, May I find strength to meet every challenge. May I find courage to face whatever comes my way. Problems are inevitable. How you handle them is up to you.
10:00 AM: 3x3 Breathing – Pause mid-morning whenever and wherever you can and close your eyes. Breathe in for a slow count of three, and exhale for a count of three more. Repeat twice more for three rounds of three-second breathing. Notice how you feel.
11:00 AM: Look, Listen, Touch – 1) Stop for a moment, take a breath, and notice what you see. 2) Close your eyes, take a second breath, and attend to the sounds around you. 3) With a third breath, feel the contact points between your body and where you’re sitting (or standing). Let something go.
Afternoon
12:00 PM: Rest and Digest – As you sit down for lunch, take a deep, gentle breath in through the nose. Pause briefly and then exhale slowly out of the mouth. Repeat twice more. Enjoy your meal from a place of calm. For added benefit, take a 5-10 minute walk outside after you eat.
1:00 PM: Open to Life – Resolve to face what’s in front of you just as it is. Instead of closing down to the challenges of the afternoon, ask yourself: Can I open to this? Am I willing to stay with my experience? Peace comes through meeting life on life’s terms.
2:00 PM: Breathe and Let Go – Take a slow breath in as you tighten your hands into fists. Then relax your hands and fingers, allowing all the tension to melt away. Repeat twice more and watch the stress dissolve at the same time.
3:00 PM: Stand and Move – Simple movement signals to your body that all is well. Between activities, stand up and move around for a minute or two. Feel the ground under you, sense your body as it moves, and take in what you see. Notice how moving affects your mood and energy.
4:00 PM: Revisit Your To-Do List – As the afternoon heads toward evening, come back to the day’s to-do list. Decide what you’ll prioritize in the remaining time today and what will need to wait till tomorrow. Plan a specific time for the things you’ll do the next day so you can be confident you’ll get to them.
5:00 PM: Take a Minute to Breathe – Soothe your nervous system with a little relaxed breathing. Set a timer for 60 seconds. For that one minute, take slow, calming breaths, letting the exhale be especially slow and easy. Feel the tension drain from your body.
Evening
6:00 PM: Come Home to Yourself – Whether you work from home or come home at the end of the day, come home to yourself, too. Place one hand on your belly and the other on your heart. Close your eyes and sense the quality of energy in your hands and throughout your body. Breathe with whatever you discover as you open to a feeling of coming back to yourself.
7:00 PM: Let Go of Tension – Stress and tension tend to build up in the body during the day – knots in your shoulders, stomach tightness, an aching back. Sit or lie comfortably and notice where you’re holding unnecessary tension. Take a slow breath in and audibly sigh it out as you allow the tension to release. Repeat as many times as you like.
8:00 PM: Listen in Silence – We often rush to fill silence with podcasts, news, entertainment, or music. See what it’s like to experience a few moments of silence without filling the void. What do you notice within yourself? What are you aware of around you? Let your nervous system find rest in silence.
9:00 PM: Wind Down – Winding down for 30-60 minutes will help you ease into sleep. Put away work and screens and choose calming, enjoyable activities. Savor the freedom of untethering from technology. Good options include reading, a cup of herbal tea, relaxing conversation, or gentle yoga. Feel the stress of the day melt away as you prepare for sleep.
10:00 PM: Bedtime Breaths – As you get into bed, take 10 slow, cleansing breaths. With each exhale, release anything you’re holding onto from your day. Give your weight fully to your pillow and mattress as you focus on the sensations of lying in bed. Sense the gentle wave of each breath moving the body.
10 PM – 6 AM: Consecrate Your Sleep – In the hours ahead, let your sleep be a spiritual practice of trust and letting go. Rest in the space between the day behind you and the day ahead. Leave your phone and its intrusions outside the bedroom as you let go of thinking and doing and enter a mode of being. Whatever needs your attention can wait until tomorrow. Enter into sleep as a time and place of rest and renewal for body, mind, and spirit.
Consistency is key when teaching your body and mind to relax. Find a routine that works for you, whether this plan or a modified one, and follow it as closely as possible. With practice, you can learn how to recognize and release stress more quickly and easily.
References
Gillihan, S. J. (2020). The CBT deck for anxiety, rumination, and worry: 108 practices to calm the mind, soothe the nervous system, and live your life to the fullest. PESI Publishing.
