Verified by 
They’re everywhere. Gratitude memes. Thankfulness posts. Appreciation messages. As Thanksgiving approaches, people’s thoughts turn towards being grateful. I think it’s wonderful and have written about these topics myself many times.
Recently I’ve been doing more cosmetic acupuncture and I find myself thinking about what beauty means, and how it plays into being thankful. I think of beauty as a virtue — and I don’t mean the way features are arranged on your face, or the color of your eyes or hair (although others would disagree).
Beauty to me is the light that shines out from inside. It’s the health and balance that shows itself when you walk in a room or smile a crinkly-eyed smile. It is a clasped hand or a touch on someone’s shoulder. Without sounding too sappy, beauty is that light in your heart. It is confidence, empathy, living in gratitude, and yes, giving thanks.
At Thanksgiving we want to set a beautiful table, gather with the people we love, and feel grateful for what we are blessed with. It’s not about the pumpkin shaped salt and pepper shakers or the fall-themed flowers, though one can appreciate those too. The true beauty comes in the giving, in feeling good enough about yourself to give without question. Beauty and thankfulness are about giving from love and a place where there is more than enough. What it is not, is giving so that someone will like you more (because that’s really getting). It’s kind of like an art—to bring the beauty of generosity to a day celebrating all that we possess.
True beauty is in shining light on whatever you touch, from the butternut squash to the soup kitchen where you volunteer to the clasping hand of someone in need. You’ve seen that beauty before. You can see it in the eyes, too.
In contrast to the kind of beauty I’m talking about is the way our society sees “outward beauty.” I’m saddened by the idea that we change how we look in order to fit that superficial idea of what is beautiful. Why do so many (women especially) want to look different than we do—to the point where surgical intervention seems like a reasonable course of action? Look, I would love to tweak things on my face and neck to look more “classically beautiful” and younger. But, ultimately, I keep thinking about the fact that I have two daughters—young women for whom I’m a role model. I love every bit about them. I want them to love themselves and feel beautiful in who they are. I know their light shines through to their face and they are beautiful not just outwardly, but because of who they are. What message would I be sending them and other young women if I were to chop bits of myself off or reshape myself to conform to a standard of beauty dictated by the media about what is truly a fleeting concept of beauty.
The way society views beauty changes every generation, but what beauty really is never changes.
I get it—everyone wants to look their best and feel beautiful. I do, too. What does it say that in 2013, nearly 10 million Botox™ procedures were done (that's approximately 2.5 billion dollars) and I'm sure it has gone up dramatically in the last two years. Of course we all want to look our most beautiful, but at the expense of that crinkly smile or sense of confidence that comes from an already overflowing cup? The reason I do cosmetic acupuncture is because I want beauty to come from a place of balance and radiate out. I want to see women embrace that state of health and feel their beauty regardless of the way their faces look. Beauty is the blush of balance, health, and confidence all coming together. It is as visible in your countenance as it is in your energy. What cosmetic acupuncture does is help your body naturally bring that balance and health to the forefront.
These are the things I find beautiful:
- balance, not stress
- generosity, not fear
- self-care, not giving to others at the expense of oneself (aka martyring)
- confidence, not insecurity
- self-love, not self-loathing
- beauty from the inside out, not outside in.
These are hugely complicated issues. But if we place our value only on the way we look, we will never be as beautiful as we can be, or as happy and generous as we can be. The concept of a rising tide lifting all boats is important. That is where the beautiful act of giving comes from. Fear is the biggest block to true beauty and generosity that I know. Fear that there’s not enough, that someone is out to get us, that we are threatened, that all we’ve worked for is a waste, that if we aren’t the standard outward expression of beauty we are somehow less than. The media has not helped. But each of us is stronger than a misguided media that generates income by capitalizing on people’s fears.
What if we embraced what we looked like—and brought confidence and love to the world? What if this Thanksgiving you give thanks for all the beauty that is inside of you, and everyone around you, so that you feel your cup runneth over? The fear will subside, the light will grow.
