7 Tools Help Your Child Be More Successful in School

There are many ways you, as a parent, can help your child find success at school. For example, communicate supportive expectations to your child about how they approach their academic challenges. Discuss what school success means to your child and set goals together. Support a daily routine that includes regular study time, homework completion, and time to relax.

Further, speak to your child with an affirming mindset of "I believe in you" and "Wouldn't you feel good afterward about soon doing_______?" These types of calm, firm, and non-controlling soundbites are examples of what I have written extensively about for parents managing schoolwork pushback and defiant behavior in general. Consider how much more you can collaborate with your child versus being seen as their adversary when you speak to them in this positive manner about the challenges they face in school.

Always also remember to celebrate school victories. Celebrating victories is crucial because your child's struggles in school scream louder in their mind than their successes. So, recognize and celebrate your student's accomplishments, no matter how small. Celebrating accomplishments helps build confidence and encourages continued success.

A Growth Mindset Leads to Gains at School

Encourage your child to adopt this growth mindset, which means focusing on the process of learning rather than just the outcome. Help your child see mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning, and praise their effort and hard work rather than just their achievements.

The more your help your child focus on their strengths in learning, the more they will learn to value their successes. In the next section, you will learn seven questions to help your child identify their strengths and reframe setbacks into opportunities for academic improvement.

Seven Questions to Help Your Child Gain Success at School

Students who let go of negative thoughts about schoolwork (e.g., What if I try and still don't do well or I fail?) outcomes are more successful at school. Here are seven ways to have your child positively reflect on their school work. These reflections drive a growth mindset for academic success. I have adapted them from my book, The Anxiety, Depression, & Anger Toolbox for Teens, which further discusses the academic success achieved by reframing negative school emotions into more positive ones.

1. What have you done, and what are you doing that can help you think more positively about your schoolwork? This probe lets your child see you as supporting by aligning them with their past academic successes.

2. How does focusing on your past school success help to create more confidence for you in the present? Here, you encourage your child to see the relationship between their positive thoughts and current school performance–a valuable gift that keeps on giving!

3. In what ways does focusing on past and future successes inspire you to act to achieve your vision? This reflective question helps your child better associate their thoughts, feelings, and behavioral outcomes with their school efforts.

4. How does positively focusing on your future grades help you feel less stressed about them now? By linking the power of goal setting to your child's future grades, you help them become more proactive by considering empowering, doable actions to do well in their classes.

5. Focus on a class in which you want to do better. If you’ve not worked up to your potential in this class, why is that so? This probe creates a safe space for your child to learn from their academic setbacks and disappointments. Further, it helps to create a "learn from my struggles" growth mindset for challenging classes at school.

Growth Mindset Essential Reads

Make Up Your Mind: Benefits of a Growth Mindset

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6. What gets in your way of continuing to try your best in the face of setbacks in reaching this goal? The goal is to help your child learn to look into their accountability mirror. It helps you discuss how we can all sabotage our goals with self-defeating behaviors by not believing in ourselves. Countless parents tell their kids to "try your best" without also normalizing that sometimes it is a struggle to give things our best effort. This kind of validation will help them regain a sense of purpose.

7. How does strengthening your grit help you overcome negative feelings about school? This crucial question reminds your child that when they see the glass as "half full versus half empty," it will be much easier to dust themselves off and keep moving forward to face challenges. In short, this question helps your child see that optimism is a learnable skill versus a fixed trait.