Confronting Scripture With Dignity

Two young men, James and Dan, are estranged from their families and have been since they began their relationship three years ago. They’ve also severed ties with their Church because of its position on homosexuality. Both men come from devout Catholic families; they’ve been taught to value God, prayer, the Bible, service to others, and loving-kindness above all else. Both families love and miss their sons deeply. James has become an atheist, hates religion seeing it as the source of the world’s evils. He will not resume contact with his parents until they accept his relationship as having the same dignity as any heterosexual relationship.

Have these families and their sons come to a stalemate?

Dan is very much interested in reconciling. He thinks he and James should absorb the blow and become “the bigger person” even though that would mean their families would see them as degraded in the eyes of God. James will not have that.

How about the families? Might they consider changing their views on homosexuality? Couldn’t they “get beyond a few biblical passages”?!

In the previous blog entry, I discussed the disrespect a client may feel when a therapist doesn’t take their worldview seriously. I advocated that it is best for a therapist to begin by understanding a person as they understand themselves—on their own terms.

There may be a strong temptation for the secular thinker to dismiss the "few Biblical passages” as trivial, particularly in light of the very serious torment it has brought upon gay men and women.

But for the families involved, questioning the legitimacy of the Bible is an attack on the foundation of what they hold dear. Religion is a serious matter that needs to be taken seriously if a secular party is to have a fruitful discussion with a religious one. Too often, religion becomes the subject of ridicule and mockery. Witness Bill Maher’s widely lauded 2008 film Religulous. The title is a portmanteau derived from the words "religion" and "ridiculous.” At best, the film is a retaliatory satire on the many injustices done in the name of religion. At worst, it was a needless mockery of something many people consider holy. And it often goes unconsidered that nothing is more vulnerable to mockery and defamation than the holy.

Is there room for discussion between these two parties? Let’s say each party was willing to come to the table respectful of one another and their beliefs. On behalf of James, one could make the following plea: accepting homosexuality doesn’t have to mean the family will lose their faith in God; only that they’d have to reassess their relationship to the Bible, their means of discerning God’s word. The stakes are quite high. Western history has witnessed much bloodshed over similar prospects of religious reformation. Still, a change in religious perspective or some other kind of arrangement is not entirely impossible.

The rising trend of legal and public support is a huge victory for gay men and women. But often the larger battle takes place in the family. James, Dan, and their families are not so unbelievably at odds with one another's beliefs. Intermixed may be a larger cultural current of homophobia. Afterall, the Bible prohibits divorce and drunkenness, but Catholic drunks and divorcees don't typically find themselves severed from their parents on account of their sins. When the fury of the feud cools off, opennes and respect bring light to commonalities rather than differences. In fact, the essential motives of all parties are very much in line with principles revealed by the Bible. The families understand themselves as acting out of piety and the love of holiness. And James and Dan understand themselves as acting out of love and an impulse toward justice and dignity. Eventually, tension between homosexuality and Catholicism may lose its irrational fire, but respect and dignity are paramount. The defamation of one group by another may be effective for voting booths but not so much in the home.

In the next blog entry, part 3 of 3, I will examine Divine revelation in Islam, how it is held by the secular world, and the psychology of Muslim/non-Muslim communication.