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Self, Meet Yourself

We don't always know ourselves as well as we think we do. Why we crave feedback to help enhance our self-awareness.

Have you ever been surprised by someone's description of you? Don't take it too hard: Research suggests we don't know ourselves as well as we think we do.

Our identities may undergo constant reconstruction, suggests an article in the Psychological Review. Psychologists at Florida Atlantic University (FAU) reexamined research on developing individuality and concluded that our surroundings—social feedback, comparison with others, society's perception of our behavior—continually challenge us to redefine ourselves.

Individual levels of self-awareness vary, according to Robin R. Vallacher, Ph.D., an FAU psychology professor and co-author of the article. Those struggling to define themselves crave others' feedback to help enhance their self-awareness, he says, whereas those with a strong identity rely less on feedback: "They can reinterpret, reject or accept information based on their own coherent sense of self."