A wide and confusing range of emotions may be experienced after a loss. There can be five stages of grief. These reactions might not occur in a specific order, and can (at times) occur together. Not everyone experiences all of these emotions:
- Denial, disbelief, numbness
- Anger, blame
- Bargaining (for instance, "If I am cured of this cancer, I will never smoke again")
- Depressed mood, sadness, and crying
- Acceptance, coming to terms
People who are grieving will often report crying spells, some trouble sleeping, and lack of productivity at work. At this time, you may find it hard to accept that the loss has actually occurred.
Once the initial shock has worn off, denial of the loss can often be replaced by feelings of anger. The anger may be directed toward doctors and nurses, God, other loved ones, yourself, or even the person who has died. You may experience feelings of guilt with sentiments such as "I should have… ", "I could have… ", or "I wish I had… " Such thoughts are common. Your emotions may be very intense and you may have mood swings. These are all normal reactions to loss.
Each type of loss means the person has had something taken away. Grief may be experienced as a mental, physical, social, or emotional reaction. Mental reactions can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair. Physical reactions can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness. Social reactions can include feelings about seeing family or friends or returning to work. As with bereavement, grief processes depend on the relationship with the person who died, the situation surrounding the death, and the person's attachment to the person who died. Grief may be described as the presence of physical problems, constant thoughts of the person who died, guilt, hostility, and a change in the way one normally acts.
