The Sleep Debt

Can you really catch up on lost sleep?

Eight Bedroom Love Secrets for Sweet Dreams, Loving Sex

Distance can take place even among couples who share the same home.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, we have been told. But absence can also create an emotional distance that is difficult to bridge.  Sadly, distance can take place between couples who live in the same house. These couples often don’t give each other enough time to read unspoken words or come to know facial expressions. It can happen when couples do live in the same house, but one travels extensively. It can happen with two people who are dating and who put their social calendar or work ahead of their emotional calendar. It often happens with long distance relationships or between couples who don't resolve rifts quickly enough. 

Taking time to read expressions

Is working or  anger more important than making time to visit each other at least a half hour each night, making your relationship a priority? Have you learned to read the expressions on the face of someone who cares about you? Do you know what it means when he or she is biting their lower lip.  Have you come to understand downcast eyes, or the slump of the shoulders?

If your partner is hurting, angry,  or in pain, have you figured out a way to snuggle into their heart? Perhaps I'm a broken record on this. However, if men and women could develop their intuitive skills and interpret the silences, downcast eyes, uncomfortable moments and body language -- perhaps more relationships could be saved. 

How can you know for sure? Ask. Don’t play games. Life is too short.

Create safe spaces within your home to share intimacy

For years I have loved and referred to a book by Claire Cooper Marcus, House As a Mirror of Self: Exploring the Deeper Meaning of Home. Essentially she believes that our homes are a reflection of our inner life.  For relationships to thrive, couples need safe places within the home to talk without shouting. Then bedrooms become a time for peaceful closeness. 

Are we heading into a two bedroom society?

In reality couples need serene places to talk, to sleep. But life in the bedroom may be changing. Frankly the separate bedroom syndrome might be a conspiracy of furniture salesman or architects.  Think of the pricless ad:

  • Price of bed $1000. 
  • Price of separate bedrooms — $30,000 and up plus that possible divorce.
  • The touch of intimacy — priceless.

Nonetheless  Michael J. Breus, Ph.D. on Apr 25, 2013 noted the following:

It’s estimated that 25% of couples in the U.S. are sleeping apart. This is a number that has been on the rise in recent years. What’s more, the residential construction industry in recent years has reported a substantial uptick in requests for 2 separate master bedrooms in new homes. Have You Considered a ‘Sleep Divorce’?

Bedroom Secrets

If you are fretting about not having enough loving taking place in your home, here are some tips for turning your bedroom into a passion place — a place that creates an aura of quiet love and erotic passion.Stylish-sexy-bedrooms

1. Take out everything. A former college roommate, who was in our wedding party, came to visit from Hawaii and she redecorated my office. Using the same principles, she transformed the bedroom by taking everything out except for the bed and one or two essential dressers. You can do this yourself.

2. Bring back only what is beautiful and a night stand on each side of the bed. Add two small lamps with pink bulbs.

3. Banish all distractions -- gadgets, laundry, ironing boards, computers, and especially the TV (If he wants entertainment, tell him that you are it.)

4. Change the mood to soft solids with simple splashes of color; the color red is hot!

5. Add real candles or a small wall-mounted fireplace for ambiance.

6. Banish mirrors that face the bed. The bedroom should set a mood whether you are married or single. It should be a place that is quiet, warm, and inviting. Feng Shui says no mirrors in the room.

7. Add a reading chair or a chaise next to the bed if you need to unwind with a good book while the other showers or ambles about until ready for bed.

8. Here is the secret to the ultimate in passion — never go to bed angry. Leave your anger at the door so that the bedroom becomes synonymous with love and eros, with passion and pleasure.  

In an atmosphere with no hidden agendas, just simple clarity, your nights can be filled with loving sex, sweet dreams, and a restful sleep.

Here are 12 Tips to Sleeping Like a Baby for those who covet a good night's sleep.

Photo from www.diy-stress-relief.com

Copyright 2013 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved

The Sleep Debt