Containing emotional eating can be a lifelong battle
Emotional eating is something we have all done occasionally. We eat for reasons other than hunger, such as eating birthday cake to celebrate with a group of girlfriends. Who hasn't been tempted to lie on the couch with a bag of potato chips to assuage boredom while watching reruns of
Law and Order on a dateless Saturday night. However, for some people, emotional eating can become a way of life and the only way they know to deal with painful emotions such as sadness, anger, or anxiety. When emotional eating leads to regular bingeing or constant grazing or when it results in self-hatred, depression, or purging behaviors, professional help is indicated. Even if not at that level, emotional eating can add on the pounds over the years and erode self-esteem or become a habitual way of avoiding dealing with serious life problems. Below are some tips to help you decrease your emotional eating and live healthier.
(1) Establish Healthy Self-Care Habits and Routines
Emotional eating can be triggered by stress at work or in relationships, depression, lack of sleep, or boredom. To avoid temptation to eat emotionally, it is important to establish healthy daily routines that include exercise, healthy eating, and stress relief. The exercise does not have to be especially vigorous. You just have to get moving. Walking the dog or doing yoga are perfect. Planning time to shop for healthy foods and taking at least 20 minutes three times per day to sit quietly and eat, without texting, driving, or typing on your computer at the same time can do wonders for your health. Taking healthy breaks and meal breaks during the day can create a sense of inner calm and contentment that will make you less likely to eat impulsively because you feel out of balance or emotionally deprived.
(2) Pay Attention to Your Bodily Signs of Stress
Our brains have built-in systems to detect and respond to threats in the environment. The brain's intial response to stress is very rapid and automatic and may occur without us even being aware of what we are reacting to. This rapid response helped our ancestors mobilize quickly to get away from or fight off prowling predators before they were eaten, thus making them more likely to survive and pass on their genes to the next generation. Structures in the midbrain trigger a "fight or flight" response to deal with perceived threat that involves activation of the sympathetic branch of the nervous system. This is accompanied by subjective feelings of anxiety, rapid heartrate, shallow breathing, and muscle tension. At times of chronic stress, or if you have experienced past traumas, this threat response system can go on hyperalert or fail to turn off. Bodily tension and subjective anxiety can accumulate and feel very uncomfortable and you may reach for food to calm down. Eating triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which turns off sympathetic arousal. The blood moves to the organs for digestion and you begin to calm down. By tuning into your body signals earlier, you can become aware of the stress and stretch, breathe deeply, or take a mental break before it gets too intense.
Emotions can sabotage good intentions
Many people grew up in families in which the expression of strong emotions was regarded as unacceptable or a sign of weakness. Not receiving guidance on how to manage difficult feelings, many children begin to evaluate negative feelings as "bad" or "dangerous" and try to shut them down. Unfortunately, emotional suppression is not an effective strategy, and unprocessed feelings often "rebound" at higher intensity. Not knowing how to deal with these more intense feelings, people turn to food and emotional eating to cope. To interrupt this cycle, you need to learn to acknowledge your feelings, rather than automatically shutting them down. This can take practice and involve deliberately checking in with your body, particularly your chest and the pit of your stomach. When you are aware of a feeling, it is important to learn assertiveness skills so you can express how you feel directly at the time that something upsets you or shortly after. Assertiveness means expressing yourself in an appropriate way, being clear and firm, while respecting the needs and perspective of the other person. This should result in stress release, healthy communication, and improved self-esteem rather than avoidance and buildup of negative feelings that makes it more difficult to contain the impulse to eat.
(4) Learn Self-Compassion & Reach for the Positive
Emotional eaters often eat in secrecy and feel ashamed and out of control. For some people, this can lead to purging or other health-damaging behaviors to get rid of the food and try to expel the shame. For some people, who grew up in punishing or neglectful families, eating high-fat or high-caloric foods is one of the few ways they are able to reward themselves and experience pleasure. One way to break this cycle is by becoming aware of the shaming inner voice and develop an inner protector or inner scientist that can help you find a different, more compassionate or objective view of the situation. These skills can be learned in Cognitive Therapy or through Mindfulness or other contemplative practices. Another skill is to find non-food ways of rewarding yourself. This can involve giving yourself a mental pat on the back, or actively bringing into your life things that you enjoy and that would "feed" you emotionally, such as supportive relationships, fun activities, fresh air and exercise, intellectual stimulation, or music
(5) Find Support & Structure
Changing entrenched eating behaviors is a long and difficult struggle. Change can take months or years and often occurs in an up and down manner, rather than in a straight line of constant improvement. Change may involve confronting painful feelings or making major changes in routines, professional activities or relationships. You need to make yourself accountable and keep track of your eating, without punishing yourself or giving up if you slip up. The elements of successful change are support, expert guidance, structure, and accountability. Programs such as Weight Watchers work well for this reason. They provide a structured diet plan, accountability through weekly weigh-ins, and a group format. [caveat added—if you have purging behaviors, disordered body image, bulimia or its subclinical forms, you should not restrict eating or diet as restricting itself can trigger the binge-purge cycle] If you can afford it, booking a few sessions with a nutritionist and personal trainer can help you design an individualized eating and activity program. However, if the eating truly is emotional, there is no substitute for a health psychologist or cognitive-behavior therapist with experience in treating dysregulated eating. If you are also depressed or have experienced trauma or emotional abuse, a therapist experienced in these areas can help you learn coping skills. It is also important to get a medical checkup and clearance from your physician before beginning a new diet and exercise program. Your physician may recommend supplements to help. In some cases, referral to a psychiatrist may be indicated. In addition to professional sources, ask close friends and family members to support your efforts and minimize contact with or confront those who are not supportive.
With these strategies as a starting point, you can begin to change old habits and ways of living that no longer serve you and may be hurting your health or even shortening your life. It is important to begin the process by confronting what price you pay in your life for emotional eating and to evaluate its costs and benefits. Set realistic weekly goals for yourself and be patient as change takes time. Instead of beating yourself up for past failures, begin a new day and focus on what you can do in this moment to bring compassionate self-care, health and wellness into your life.
