The other day I was shopping in a fancy department store (a rare event for me) when I overheard two teenage girls chatting about the price of "looking good." There they stood, hands on their slender hips, blinged-out cells in their well-manicured hands - looking at jeans that cost over $300 bucks a pop. "These jeans are so cool - they make my butt look hot," one said. Then she grabbed a slinky $175 tank top and held it to her chest gleefuly adding, "Oh, I've got to get this too, it will make my boobs look mega big."
Mine too, I silently thought. I mean with padding like that whose wouldn't? Her girlfriend vigorously nodded, and with the flip of their long hair, they grabbed the goods, whipped out daddy's credit card, and headed for the register. I closed my mouth just long enough to realize that I had just witnessed a 17-year-old who had the audacity (and cash) to purchase a pair of couture denim worth more than my entire outfit. Yet as I stood their feeling a little dejected, my psychological instincts kicked-in: Why do teenage girls need a pair of jeans that expensive? And more importantly, why do they need them to feel good about themselves? If you must spend $300 to make your butt look good, there's a lot more going on in your head than should be at that age. I suddenly found mysef thinking what most of us already know: teens, beauty, and body image go hand-in-hand. In particular teenage girls self-esteem is usually tied more to their appearance, which means that their self-esteem becomes seemlessly intertwined with materialism including: expensive clothing, fast cars, and large houses.
There is a problem in this country with the price of beauty and how teens indulge in it. I know our youth are in trouble when they rely on couture jeans to feel great about their derrier. And to be honest, their fallible cognitions are not only media driven, but also the result of parental influence. How many times have I stood in front the mirror sucking it in, pulling it out, and flipping it around in a vain attempt to look fabulous? More than I'd like to admit. It's unfortunatey one of the pitfalls of living in a society that is beauty driven. Yet all of us must have the wherewithal to resist the notion of beauty as pure perfection. In fact, it's the imperfections in people that are often the most beautiful.
What many of us, including teens, don't remember is that those gorgeous long-legged models and celebrities gracing the cover of Vogue and Victoria's Secret are not perfect- not by a longshot. It doesn't matter if you buy a $300 pair of jeans or sink thousands of dollars into cosmetic surgery - you'll never look like they do. And the truth is, they don't look like that either. In the digital age models can instantly become goddesses with the use of touch-up photograhy, Photoshop, and airbrushing techniques that instantly set standards no one can possibly emmulate, including the models in the photograph. Even cute pop singers like Katy Perry are not immune from the evils of imperfection, at least according to Rolling Stone Magazine. Check out how the magazine touched-up her cover shot to look like someone she's not.
Though I'm guilty as charged for trying to age gracefully, I am also acutely aware that every moment of every day I must set a positive example for my daughters - and that's no easy feat. Believe it or not, harnessing the power of psychological intervention rarely works on your own children (surprise, suprise). Yet I don't want my children, or yours, feeling like they must purchase couture clothing in a fruitless effort to feel good about their bodies. As parents we need to be vigilant about the messages we send and make an effort to combat media imgages by telling our teens the truth: that what they see isn't always what they get. Parents need to choose their battles, but this one is worth waging if it means your teen will learn that its not the jeans that make the girl, it's the girl that makes the jeans.
