Your Zesty Self

New perspectives on freeing yourself from shame and building self-esteem.

Jane Bolton, Psy.D., M.F.T., is a supervising and training analyst and adjunct professor at the Institute of Contemporary Psychoanalysis in Los Angeles. See full bio

October 29, 2009

Raise Your Self Esteem by Getting Unglued from Your Stuck Feelings

Find peace from troublesome feelings and increase harmony in your relationships by using this awesome Conscious Witness perspective on yourself Read More

October 8, 2009

7 More Reasons It's So Darn Hard To Earn The Empathy Gold Cup

Why don't people just learn empathy and stop fighting? Read More

September 18, 2009

Stop Giving Me Empathy! It Makes Me Feel Bad

So you think everybody always wants understanding? Do you have any of these barriers to recieving empathy. Read More

August 31, 2009

Raise Self Esteem with the Lifeblood of Empathy

I call empathy lifeblood, because it gives us vitality. After all, a basic everyday, all day human need is to be seen, heard and recognized for who we are. Not for how someone would like us to be. Not for how someone is trying to get us to be. But for who we are inside: Our feelings, thoughts, desires, and dreams. Read More

August 11, 2009

Is Anger Good or Bad For Self Esteem?

"Pushing, Shouting, Shoving in Tampa Town Hall" and "Town Hall Free-For-Alls: Screaming and Chaos" cry TV headlines as healthcare reform is debated. We see enraged and truly terrified people screaming in turbulent gatherings. Read More

July 21, 2009

Your Most Powerful Self-Esteem Lifter is You

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." —Eleanor Roosevelt

"You're not the boss of me!" asserts the three-year-old, rebelling against parental limit setting. When it comes to regulating our self esteem, we should all be so three-years-old, refusing to give that power away. Read More

June 29, 2009

Build Self Esteem and Zest with Intention and Imagination

"Prison bars imagined are no less solid steel." R. Crowell. "Imagination is more important than knowledge." A. Einstein. "When imagination and will work together, all things are possible." C. Fillmore. Read More

June 8, 2009

Zest Builders & Breakers: The Power of Choice

I've been rereading Man's Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl's inspiring story of how he used conscious meaning making to survive through his grueling experience at Auschwitz. Read More

May 29, 2009

Should Everyone Play By Your Rules?

Did you ever try to get a squirrel to eat an acorn with a knife and fork? Probably not. You haven't tried to enforce an unenforceable rule of behavior on the squirrel. So you probably haven't gone around feeling resentful toward squirrels with bad table manners. Why? Read More

May 18, 2009

What We Get Wrong About Shame

I think there are two reasons that people aren't as "zesty" as they could be. One reason is that they have acquired misinformation about the emotion of shame. The second is that they don't have enough information about shame. Read More