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Better Fathers Have Smaller Testicles

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This story is so good that

This story is so good that Psychology Today had to tell it twice. There's a lesson in all of this. That pause was me waiting for someone to tell me what the lesson is. Anyone? Bueller?

Happy_Bullet can `splain it for you...

Romance novels. Women love 'em. In the book Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women (What Makes a Successful Romance Novel) the formula is described.

"Why?!" I hear you ask am I talking about some lovey dovey crap that women always tell us about and bemoan that we don't provide them with?

Because I'm not going to that's why. The most successful romance novel formula hardly includes that stuff. The most successful romance novel formula is one where a powerful dangerous man is castrated.

Here's how they go:

Take a man, let's call him Lord Ravenscroft, not exactly a pushover, the villagers near his castle live in fear of him due to a few years ago running the town crier through with a rapier for some off-hand remark.

Anyway, Lord Ravenscroft has just inherited a gift, VERY IMPORTANT THAT THIS IS AGAINST HER WILL AS SHE MUST BEAR NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER SITUATION, a young woman, let's call her Virginia.

Naturally, Lord Ravenscroft, the macho, misogynistic fellow he is puts Virginia hard to work scrubbing floors and cooking meals. Naturally, being a paragon of virtue, AND IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT VIRGINIA IS A PARAGON OF VIRTUE, Virginia does not really have a problem with hard work and in fact saves one of the Lord's lambs from drowning in the river.

Eventually, of course, Lord Ravenscroft goes a little too far and offends Virginia's delicate sensibilities. This is a very important part: SHE ACTS DEFIANT TOWARDS HIS BRUTAL DOMINANCE BECAUSE OF HER VIRTUOUS SENSIBILITIES.

At this point, like a true man's man, Lord Ravenscroft beats her down and rapes her silly, but nevertheless the idea is that he is an evil **bleep**, and she stood up to him.

The main body of the novel involves the above being sort of washed, rinsed and repeated, with Lord Ravenscroft slowly more and more impressed by Virginia's paragon of virtuehood and her lamb saving graces, whilst at the same time being worn down by her incessant nagging, I mean virtuous defiance, and begins acting more and more kindly towards her until eventually raping her silly is not enough and he must win her love to be happy. IN ORDER TO DO THIS, HE MUST NOW DEMONSTRATE THE LOVEY DOVEY ROMANCE GARBAGE WE ARE ALL FAMILIAR WITH. IT'S ONLY APPEARANCE IS TOWARDS THE END OF THE BOOK.

At this point the tables have turned and Lord Ravenscroft's arse belongs to Virginia. His dangerous power is hers to control as her provider, protector and all round tamed arse biitch. The book ends in marriage. NOTE THAT THE MARRIAGE SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE BOOK AS IT SIGNIFIES VICTORY. THERE IS NOTHING FURTHER OF INTEREST TO THE ROMANCE READER.

So we have a couple of interesting things here. Generally the reader puts themselves in Virginia's shoes and Virginia must do whatever they fantasize as themselves doing. I.e., being virtuous, defiant against sensibility-offense, and attractive. Not only is there the castration of an alpha male involved, but there's a little ego trip in the sense that the character they identify with is virtuous and thus irresistibly attractive (men can only be a woman's second love, you see, as they are already more in love with themselves and their own perceived virtue and perceived attractiveness).

Interesting you say. You can see historical reference in this story you say. So then, how is it that things have gone a little awry and this sort of thing no longer happens with such frequency?

Well it stopped bloody happening when women lost the ability to be virtuous. Instead they rely on some politically correct expectation that people treat them as if they are virtuous, even if they are stupid, entitled, skank whores.

[Note: this was written when Miley Cyrus was still playing Hannah Montana...]

Thus women's power to attract men is greatly diminished in modern times while their "defiance" more resembles the assholery of Lord Ravenscroft than the sensibility guarding Virginia. Note that this is only realized by external parties and not by the deluded idiots themselves due to the effect of the politically correct media, ego-gratifying hate speech of feminazis and so forth.

Thank you for listening HAHAHAHAHAHA!
- Happy_Bullet (8/06)

IOW, the guys in the study being cited didn't start out w/small balls, they acquired them along the way. The study simply didn't look at `em both before and after their unfortunate run-in with a modern woman.

It is not the size of your

It is not the size of your testicles that matters (unless that's where you keep your brain)

Reply to comment | Psychology Today

Pretty! This was an incredibly wonderful post.

Thanks for supplying these details.

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they acquired them along the way

Whether a study is about fish oil and omega 3s or the size of testicles, I note that no study is infallible. Our conclusions tend to be based on the bias of our opening presuppositions: is it nature Vs nurture? If I am diminutive or have a testicular hernia, it just might be that regardless of size, I can have the self-control to bring my teeny-weeny gonads or my visually bulky and protruding scrotum into submission to a higher plane of virtue... lest I think too less or too much of myself either way. Could I allow the size of my neck, my arms, my chest, my waist, my genitalia, my thighs, my ankles to determine the course of my life? I have no doubt that as I think I will be. At the end of the day, how I laugh will be more important to me than what I laugh at.

my brain

Oh, I forgot to add my cranial capacity

Love this blog!

I did a post on this one, too.

Very interesting article.

I wonder though, if it can end up having worse effects. -Or if even on a social note, the men were more of a cuckold-risk because of their Lower-T, less classically "Alpha Male" behavior.

Why does it seem these days that women are becoming abit more masculine, and men more feminine? -Or am I hallucinating?

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Gary L. Wenk, Ph.D., is a Professor of Psychology & Neuroscience & Molecular Virology, Immunology and Medical Genetics at the Ohio State University.


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