It's rare that I use this space to rant, but I'm afraid I'm going there today.
I want to talk about those two little words that are too often used to try to silence a woman, to try to shame her, to try to make her feel "less than" or that she's invisible or that she just doesn't matter. The words used to try to make a young girl feel ostracized or like she's nothing special or that she'd better go ahead and have sex with you because, after all, she's lucky that you're doing her the favor.
I'm talking about the words, "You're fat." I'm talking about body bullying.
Now, it's not just the words. I know plenty of women (and men) out there who accept and love themselves exactly as they are and would let those words go in one ear and right back out the other without taking up residence in their heads. But for those who struggle with body image, those words can be a mighty tool in the hands of a skilled destructor of self-esteem.
What wound me up on this topic was Glenn Beck's recent retch-and-vomit act on his show. The subject of his queasiness was Meghan McCain and her showing-some-skin appearance in a public service announcement about skin cancer. Beck went on and on about how McCain's appearance in the video was making him physically ill.
Here's the thing: You can dislike someone, despise them even, disagree with their views, and oppose every single thing that they stand for. And you can tell them that. But that adolescent "I'll show her, I'll call her fat" behavior really grates on me because it feels like the last-resort weapon of people who feel they can't win their point any other way. I'm reminded of a schoolyard argument between a boy and girl, where -- when the boy senses he's losing face in front of his friends -- lets out a last-ditch, "Oh, yeah? Well, you're fat."
I can't make a completely sexist argument here, though, can I? Ladies, we all know that weight and appearance are weapons that women and girls sometimes wield against each other. And it isn't any less painful when it's perpetrated by a member of our own gender.
In this world of status updates and anonymous postings, let's all take a deep breath before we lash out. Dads, watch the way you talk about women in front of your sons and daughters -- are you lashing out with an appearance-based insult against that female pundit with whom you simply disagree? Moms, you need to watch it, too. How about trying to work out that disagreement you had with that other mom instead of making snide comments about her weight or haircut?
And if you need inspiration on how to confront a body bully with class, check out McCain's response to Glenn Beck here.
