Today, I'm inspired not only by this thought-provoking post by Kathy Sena over at ParentTalkToday, but also by what I saw at my own daughter's eighth-grade graduation this past week. I'm not going to wax poetic about where childhood has gone, but I do have to admit that graduation made me sniffly.
Not, however, for the reasons you might think.
I'm OK with the fact that my little girl is growing up. Sure, she was an adorable baby and a wildly entertaining preschooler, but -- requisite teen eye-rollling and sighing aside -- I'm enjoying the teenage version of her just as much.
What had me feeling sad was the visual display of the end of body innocence. Yes, I know it begins younger and younger for girls these days, but the tight, short dresses, from-the-salon hair, high heels and manicured nails on many of the girls was a full-out display of the fact that they've entered into a new world -- one where they're not only being judged on their appearance, but where they're aware of the judgment, too.
They get it now. Looking a certain way attracts the boys' attention.
But it's not just about the boys. They're eyeing each other, too, and carefully calculating how they measure up.
That awareness -- that loss of body innocence -- is what has me nostalgic. Gone are the days of any-old-shirt and a quickly gathered ponytail. Now, the shirt must be carefully chosen and coordinated, along with jewelry and make-up. And the ponytail? For many, styling products and straighteners are now involved.
This is when the decisions will start. Do I look over my notes for that test one more time or spend an extra 15 minutes on my hair? Do I raise my hand in class when I know the right answer or let that cute boy answer first? Do I go a little farther than I want to because I want him to like me? Do I ignore that mean girl who whispers to her friends and laughs as I walk past or do I go home and agonize in front of the mirror, wondering what's so wrong with me?
It won't be easy to watch.
But as parents, we've graduated, too. Our challenge now is to strike that balance of hanging back and watching quietly as our girls (and boys) figure out who they are -- all the while remaining ready to step in should their feet start down the wrong path.
