You'd Be So Pretty If...

How to teach your daughter to love her body—even when you don't love your own.

by Dara Chadwick

It's Time for Some New Body Talk

What if we stopped referring to our flaws?

Published on February 26, 2010 by Dara Chadwick in You'd Be So Pretty If...

As National Eating Disorders Awareness Week draws to a close, I can't help thinking about the messages women send to each other -- and to ourselves. For too many women, thinking about our bodies means an endless replay of the things we don't like about ourselves:

"My butt is too big."

"My thighs are too fat."

"My arms are too skinny."

"I hate my stretch marks."

Yesterday, I learned about a new Web site called LoveYourFlawz.com. It was created by two young women whose mission is to "help all of us learn to love and embrace" our flaws. I love this idea!

But I'd like to take it a step further.

As a writer, I'm constantly thinking about words and how we say things. So what if we stopped referring to our flaws altogether?

The dictionary defines "perfect" as "conforming absolutely to an ideal," while a "flaw" is a feature that mars the perfection of something. But since perfection is only an ideal -- and we're real -- then might I suggest that we're not actually flawed at all.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

Find Local:

Let me put it another way. If I choose to refer to my formerly flawed body part as a "characteristic" instead of a flaw, that changes the perception, doesn't it? After all, a characteristic is defined as "a distinguishing feature or quality."

I like that.

But let's take it further. The dictionary defines "distinguish" as "to mark off as different." And when something is different, it has no equal. It's the only one. You know what that's the definition of?

Unique.

So today, when you look in the mirror, don't focus on your flaws and how they mar the perfect image you'd hoped to see. Instead, admire those characteristics that distinguish you and make you unique. Because the dictionary defines "beautiful" as "having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see..."

And that, my friends, is all in the eye of the beholder.