When I was a little girl, I loved to watch the television show, "Romper Room." Each week, I'd hold my breath as the hostess pulled out her Magic Mirror at the end of the show and named all the kids she saw. I was inevitably crushed as she never -- not once -- saw Dara. I just didn't get it; I was there, faithfully watching. Why couldn't she see me?
That was my first experience with the fact that mirrors don't always tell the truth.
I've been re-visiting that idea lately as I ponder the mirrors in my house. I've got this one full-length mirror that a good friend refers to as the "magic mirror." For some reason, everybody looks longer and leaner in that mirror. But we've got another mirror that's more like one of those fun house mirrors that make the viewer appear shorter and wider. And, finally, I swear that the mirror in my upstairs bathroom makes my arms and shoulders look incredibly toned.
Silly, right?
It's the same body...all that's different is what's reflecting the image back to me.
For me, this little mirror lesson really drives home the point that body image -- how we feel about the way we think we look -- is not only changeable, it's incredibly subjective. An unexpected compliment from someone, a judgmental glance from a parent, spouse or friend, or even a look in a different mirror can all affect how we feel and the kind of day we're going to have. As I watched school girls size each other up at the bus stop this morning -- and search each other's faces for clues as to whether they were "good enough" today -- I was reminded of how important that internal image -- our "inner mirror" -- really is.
What can we do to bolster our girls' body image each day? Start by making sure they have the tools they need: Clothes that make them feel great (I'm not talking about pricey status-conscious duds; I'm talking about clothes that let her leave the house feeling confident). Offer an appearance-related compliment, but not about her body (for example, "That's a great necklace" rather than "You look so skinny in those jeans"). Finally, tell her she's going to have a great day and let her know you can't wait to hear all about it when she gets home.
All these things will go a long way toward creating a positive image in the only mirror that matters -- her "inner mirror."
