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As an author who writes frequently about mothers, daughters and body image, I'm forever preaching about the importance of teaching our girls to feel good about their bodies -- and about who they are. Read More
No doubt that self confidence
No doubt that self confidence is probably more important than appearance, but your appearance can affect your confidence, and I'm sure this isn't anything new to most people.
Just think back to that one time you had your best outfit on and all the looks you've gotten, and how that made you feel. If you were to ask people around you to describe you that day, with that outfit, most people will say something along the lines of "You were glowing!"
So by that token, appearance and self confidence do, although not always, go hand in hand. One helps the other.
Self confidences makes you a target.
I've always found that if I'm confident about something that's when people tear me down the most. If I'm confident in my appearance or myself, people will go out of their way to tell me how fat and ugly I am. If I'm confident in my singing people tell me how I'm an ugly beast and I'll "never be an American Idol." If I show my confidence that there is a God and an afterlife that's when I'm attacked the most for my beliefs. (And this is without my being preachy, mind you, for I believe preaching drives people AWAY from God and the best way to convert people is to quietly live the life and show how much better life is when you have faith.)
Confidence attracts bullies. So I don't bother with confidence anymore. I just accept my place amongst the fat and ugly. Oh, I still try to get my music career going because I know I'm better then a lot of the pop-tarts out there. And I still believe in God no matter what because everything here on earth is too complicated to come about by random chance. However, when it comes to my looks, I don't bother with confidence. It's pointless because people will tear you down.
The only thing I'm confident is is my ugliness as a fat woman.
Anyway, I don't believe confidence attracts a man. I've seen them turn away from confident fat women all the time in favor of mean, nasty, skinny women - some with really poor hygiene. Because skinny is "hot and sexy" and physical appearances mean more to men then personality. Deep down, all men are shallow.
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