As an author who writes frequently about mothers, daughters and body image, I'm forever preaching about the importance of teaching our girls to feel good about their bodies -- and about who they are. After all, how we feel about our bodies affects not only what we allow ourselves to do, but what we believe is possible for us.

I got a lesson in this very subject from my daughter recently.

She's a competitive fast-pitch softball player and her team just began its summer tournament schedule. As she was getting ready for her game, she was trying to decide what to do with her hair (hair is a big issue in our house; she is, after all, 13). She pulled it back into two ponytails and I said, "Oh, I like that."

"Mom," she said, her fingers moving quickly through her hair as she turned the ponytails into braids. "Ponytails don't say competitive softball player. No one will take me seriously."

At 13, she's already learned that people make judgments about our abilities based on how we look. Alexandra Levit wrote about this topic recently in her Wall Street Journal column: "Without waiting for you to explain why you're qualified, people will make a snap judgment based on your appearance and demeanor."