My work as a writer and editor requires plenty of proofreading and if you've ever pored over a document, looking for mistakes, you know the value of seeing something with "fresh eyes." Too many looks at the same document can lead not only to missed mistakes, but also to a case of seeing the words our mind wants to see, rather than what's really there. When I'm proofreading, I use a few different techniques to get around that, such as reading aloud and listening to what I'm saying. I've also been known to read copy backwards to find typos.
It occurs to me that looking in the mirror can be like proofing a document that you've already gone over several times. How often do we glance at our reflections and immediately see what we've always seen? No matter what the reflection shows us, we tell ourselves the same story.
Is it possible to see ourselves with "fresh eyes?" Can we change the stories we've always told ourselves about our bodies?
I think we can. But, like finding tiny mistakes in a piece of copy, it takes conscious effort.
That effort starts with the acknowledgement of where we are in our "body story" and how that shapes what we tell ourselves. Your young teenage daughter needs to acknowledge that her body is changing from that of a girl to a woman, and that those changes don't happen overnight. Your pregnant sister needs to acknowledge that a body that goes through the process of creating another human being will be forever changed. Your overworked best friend, who fuels her meeting-packed days with caffeine, cigarettes and junk food, needs to acknowledge that those choices are affecting the body she lives in.
We also need to give ourselves permission to change. If you've always been striving to reach an "ideal," moving to a place of acceptance can feel not only foreign, but downright intimidating. And it's not always easy to do, either. Clinical psychologist and noted eating disorder expert Dina Zeckhausen wrote this column about trying to see herself in a more forgiving way -- and about how even the "experts" struggle.
Though it can be tough, seeing yourself with "fresh eyes" offers you a chance to re-write your body image story. What will you do with a blank page?
