You'd Be So Pretty If...

How to teach your daughter to love her body--even when you don't love your own.
Dara Chadwick is the author of You'd Be So Pretty If...:Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own. See full bio

Is Your Body Your Life's Work?

Is Your Body Your Life's Work?

As someone who writes about health, fitness and body image, I've gotten to know many people who've made an admirable commitment to healthy living. For them -- and for me -- choosing to take the best possible care of our bodies is about so much more than just creating a nice appearance -- it's about having the energy and confidence to meet life's challenges and stay open to new possibilities. Let's face it: When you feel good physically, those good feelings spill over into your work, your home and your relationships.

But there's a point where the scales tip (no pun intended) and a commitment to healthy living becomes an obsession. You've probably met those people who won't even take a bite of their own birthday cake or can't skip a workout to meet an old friend who's in town. I experienced a small dose of that obsession in 2007, when I wrote a monthly column for Shape, a women's fitness magazine. Readers followed my year-long journey as I worked to ultimately shed 26 pounds through grueling two-hour workouts and constant scrutiny of every bite that went into my mouth. Through it all, my children watched...I was exhausted and cranky and though I was indeed getting thinner, my behavior wasn't always pretty. I liked that they saw me make a commitment to something and see it through. But when the column ended, I knew I had to find a healthy balance.

I also knew I had to show my daughter that the end-goal of healthy living isn't a smaller body. After a year of unnatural focus on my appearance, both of us needed to be reminded that there's more to life than what you see in the mirror.

So how do we strike that balance between healthy self-care and an over-the-top focus on our bodies? It's about finding ways to move daily that feel right for our lives, not an inflexible commitment to a gym schedule. It's about making mostly healthy food choices, while recognizing that it's OK to indulge in a treat when you want to. And it's about finding something meaningful, whether it's a career or volunteer work or a hobby, that totally engages us -- and has absolutely nothing to do with what we look like.



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