Take a Leap Towards Your Future!

What Can TV Reality Shows Teach You About Your Relationships?

It's tradition for women in Ireland to propose to their boyfriends on Leap Day. It's one day in four years, where a woman can go all out and pop the question that is generally asked by the man. So this got me thinking yesterday, how many women actually propose to their men instead of being proposed to?

The act of a man (or a woman) getting on one knee, with a diamond ring, excites even the most cynical romantic-hater. We watch shows like The Bachelor, where the women are proposed to by a hottie in a tuxedo, holding a red rose. Then we watch its counterpart, The Bachelorette, where the women are the ones making the decisions. It got me thinking, what is it that makes these shows so entertaining? Is that we can easily identify with the cast members? Or do we get a thrill of guessing who will be kicked to the curb? Or are we in love with watching people fall in love? It might just be a different answer for each of us, but if you're like me, perhaps you love simply watching the finale, so you can guess the outcome!

For instance, did you guess, like I did, that in the first season of The Bachelorette, Trista would give her final rose to Ryan? Trista and Ryan found true love, and are the only couple to stay together from both series. In a study done at the University of California, Davis and Drexel University, researchers concluded that the concept of love is a combination of happiness, joy, and positive expressiveness (Shaver, Morgan & Wu 1996). Therefore, when in love, a person's body language should signify true enjoyment without leaking micro expressions of dis-contempt. Both Trista and Ryan genuinely had a chemistry that cannot be reproduced by acting. When Trista sees Ryan walk through the mansion doors before the proposal, her entire face lights up and beams, which is indicative of a true smile and genuine happiness. The skin around her eyes tightens, which is hard to fake, and is the true tell-all of whether a smile is real or not. While Ryan's face is harder to read than Trista's, he does have the tightening around the eyes. As Ryan listens to Trista, you can see his happiness in the way he carries himself. It's almost as if he is a giddy child, who is getting the biggest present under the Christmas tree. The innocence in his body language illustrates his true sentiment towards Trista. Watch Trista and Ryan here.

In an unexpected twist, Season 11's The Bachelor, Brad, did not choose either of his final two women, Jenni or DeAnna, to propose to. Was this unexpected upset a surprise to you? If you knew how to pick up on the non-verbals, you might have seen what I saw, a man who lacked excitement, but had a splash of arrogance. While I don't normally watch the entire season, the finale is guilty pleasure! Had you been in my den that night when I turned on The Bachelor, you would've seen my husband, Leif, roll his eyes. Before the show even began, when all I could see was the edited teaser, I turned to Leif and said emphatically, "That guy is totally not going to propose to either of these women!" It was Brad's pursed lips with both women that screamed, DISAPPROVAL! As I always say, "When we don't like what we see or hear, our lips suddenly disappear." If Brad's lips aren't a blunt signal of danger ahead, take a look at where he rested his hands. They are directly in front of him covering up his "naughty bits," which gives the impression that he is closed off, defensive, or wants to be someplace else. A man who is confident has all three of his power zones - the neck dimple, the belly button, and the "naughty bits" - open.

Watch Brad with Jenni and DeAnna here.

Right now, if you're bored out of your mind or if you love body language analysis as much as I do, I invite you to take a leap into the world of TV reality! You can start with checking out both Trista and Brad's emotional leakage in their face (and body). Then move on to analyzing what will happen next with the Kardashians, The Real Housewives, or The Jersey Shore. If you can spot emotional leakage in the characters in these shows, can you also spot them in your relationships? Who's not really in love with you? Who genuinely always has your back? If your life was a TV reality show, who would give you their final rose?