Stuck in the Middle - with you!
The crème filling in an Oreo cookie, the corned beef in a Reuben sandwich, Godfather II- clearly, the best things always come in the middle. If you want to be the crème filling in the situation of life, you need to put yourself in the middle of the action.
Whether you're chatting with co-workers at the office, at happy hour, or at a play date with your kids, positioning yourself in the center of the group instantly makes you the center of attention.
Surrounding yourself with friends and colleagues increases your perceived value to others. Both friends and strangers alike will identify you as the "hub"-the most important person in the group.
The hub is a prized position, and it will take work to maintain it. Fortunately, being in the middle of things will force you to straighten your posture, use welcoming body language and gestures and otherwise engage everyone around you. If you alienating one side (by blocking them with your body or ignoring them in conversation) can cause the group dynamics to shift, become lopsided, or collapse. Remember, you must stand your ground and actively own the middle!
Always be on the lookout for ways to land smack in the middle of the action. For example, let's say you're going out with several co-workers for drinks after a long day at the office. As you enter your establishment of choice, get near the front of the pack. Take the lead, and ask the hostess for a booth.
Not only will you look like a leader and decision maker, this simple move lays the foundation for you to become the center of attention. After securing a prime booth, gently hang back a bit. Let your friends file in on both sides of the booth, as you graciously offer to sit in the extra chair pulled up to the table.
Sure, it might not be as comfortable as the booth seats, but you've secured the "head of the table," traditionally an honored position, indicating authority and prestige. It also lends the impression that you are presiding over your own informal meeting. You will be able to engage each and every person, and your companions will naturally look to you to control the conversation.
Hey, we all remember Patrick Swayze saying, "No one puts baby in a corner" in the classic Dirty Dancing. Poor Baby...how downtrodden she looked in that corner, while the party swirled around her. And no wonder; it's a position of subservience.
As the anchor of the group, your points and opinions will seem stronger than they would if you were trapped on the inside. You'll also be freer to display open, inviting, inclusive body language without being elbow-to-elbow with someone else.
Additionally, you'll have a clear "escape route." You won't have to lower your stature by asking others for permission to go to the bathroom, you're able to easily take care of any problems and flag the waitress to bring the check at the end of the night. By positioning yourself properly you will be poised to be the happy hour hero!
Janine Driver is the NY Times Bestselling author of You Say More Than You Think: The 7-Day Plan for Using the New Body Language to Get What You Want! Available at Amazon.com and other fine retailers.
