As You Like It

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Responses from an Unusual Sex Survey Pt. 3

A very candid sex survey response from a young woman.

Here's another survey response from the nearly 10,000 sex surveys I've received from the website for my book on sex:

How old are you?

22

Sexual Orientation

mostly straight

Do you have more, less or about the same amount of sex as your peers?


More! (new boyfriend for 2 months, and friends are single. that's probably the only reason.)

If you have a male partner, is his penis circumcised (cut) or uncircumcised (uncut)?

Uncircumcised (and you should hear his rant on circumcision...)

If you've had different partners, has intercourse felt better with certain ones?

Well, I've had 3 partners. Two of them were one night stands, and they were good. One of those one night stands was the night I lost my virginity, and it hurt. Now I have a boyfriend and the sex is ok, but mostly it keeps getting more amazing. I'm not sure whether it's because of the affectionate feelings we have for one another, because of our communication, or because of practice. There's certainly something to feeling secure enough in a relationship to ask for and discuss certain things with one another.

Can you recall when you first "discovered your clitoris" as having potential for pleasure?

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Well, I suspect I sort of knew it existed as a child/young teenager, but a boy fingered me when I was 15 and my general thoughts at the time were "WHOA! What is that?! THIS IS AWESOME! MORE PLEASE."

During intercourse, do you prefer a partner to thrust in all of the way or part way?

I guess all of the way, usually.

Do you ever orgasm sooner than you would like?

When I'm masturbating, yes. During sex, rarely. My orgasms from masturbation are, well, smaller and less awesome than the ones I have during sex, and sometimes they're just... quicker and easier, but less fun.

If your partners have shaved, have you experienced stubble-related discomfort or other negatives?

It's the stubble on his face that causes discomfort! My chin can get all red from make out sessions, and scratchy stubble plus cunnilingus is a terrible combo.

What are the best and worst parts of giving a male partner oral sex?

It's smelly down there sometimes, my gag reflex makes actually putting his penis into my mouth intimidating, and honestly, I'm not sure what to do a lot of the time, but the best parts... my boyfriend is usually fairly quiet, and hearing, feeling, and seeing him react is amazing. Knowing that I'm giving someone else that much pleasure is really sexy, and confidence boosting. If you had asked me a year ago whether I would like to perform oral sex on any man, my answer would have been "EWW." There is something inherently icky about putting someone else's genitals, especially a penis, in your mouth, but now...well, I love what it does for him.


Do you watch porn when you are alone? If so, what kind do you like, and about how many hours a week do you watch it?

Yes, occasionally. Probably an average of 15 - 45 minutes per week. I like female solo porn, or occasionally lesbian porn. For some reason, I just don't like men in my porn, for the most part.

Can you recall a time when you were having sex that was particularly funny or embarrassing?

ALL OF THE TIME - just kidding. What's the point of sex if you're not having fun and can't laugh at yourself.

When you are in a relationship with a guy, how often do you give him a handjob to completion?

In the past week, twice. I would say maybe about 10% of our sexual encounters end in handjobs to completion.

When you are with a male partner, do you spend much time stroking his penis like you are giving him a handjob, but not to completion?

Yes.

Do you remove your pubic hair?

I trim my pubic hair, partially because my partner requested it to make cunnilingus easier. Since I enjoy cunnilingus, I was all for it. Also, swimsuit season is a part of it.

If you have hooked up with someone for only a night, what was the sex like?

The first time I had sex was a one night stand. It was fun, not wonderful sex, but exactly what I wanted - which was to lose my virginity, without too much emotional baggage. The other time, it was fun and funny at times, but not as good as sex with my current boyfriend.

If your partner(s) use condoms, do the condoms impact the sensation you receive from intercourse? If so, please describe in what ways.

We do use condoms! The one time we had sex without a condom, I did not like it as much. The lubricant on the condoms super helps. He said he enjoyed it without a condom, I was just ok with it.

About what percentage of the time do you have an orgasm during intercourse?

60% maybe? My boyfriend usually gets me off before we actually have intercourse, so i don't mind.

If you have orgasms during intercourse, do they happen from thrusting alone, or does it require fingers on your clitoris or grinding against his pubic bone?

Clitoris and grinding against pubic bone, definitely.

How do you feel about the fluids your vagina makes--too little, too much, just right, or... ?

Usually just right, occasionally too little.

If you masturbate, about how often do you do it and do you use your fingers or ???

I use my fingers and sometimes a stuffed animal, or an apple. Yeah. It's odd, but it works! And maybe once a week?

Approximately how many serious sexual relationships have you had in your life (with someone who you were exclusive with for at least 3 to 6 months)?

Well.... 2, i guess. Maybe. My high school boyfriend and i were together for a while, and the relationship i'm in now is exactly at the 2 month mark.

Approximately how many sexual partners have you had where there was not traditional relationship (fuck buddies, one-night stands, friends with benefits, etc.)

Oh... um... I think it was 12, but I've only had intercourse with 2 of them. The rest were make out sessions, groping, fondling, fingering, etc. or simple kissing.

Have you had sex with another woman?

Nope.

What kind or brand of birth control do you use? Has this had any impact (positive or negative) in your desire for sex since you started using it?

I've been on the pill since I was 18, I'm 22 now. So... basically my entire sexual history has been while I was on the pill. I'm about to switch to Nuva ring.

Please describe your experiences with anal sex.

None. I have discussed it with boyfriend, who is mildly interested, but I clench up every time we get into it or I start to imagine the details, so it seems unlikely in the near future.

 

Paul Joannides, Psy.D., is a research psychoanalyst, author of Guide To Getting It On, and a speaker on college campuses. more...

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