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Paul Joannides is a research psychoanalyst, author of Guide To Getting It On, and an editor of the American Journal of Sexuality Education. His podcast is at ThePleasureReport.com. See full bio

January 20, 2009, Sex

Comments on "Three Mistakes Women Make with Their Vulvas"

Three Mistakes Women Make with Their Vulvas

By Paul Joannides, Psy.D. on January 20, 2009 in As You Like It

For the 6th edition of my book, I decided to do a chapter titled Vulva Care--Keeping Your Kitty Happy. I was very fortunate to receive the advice of two highly experienced female gynecologists from two different parts of the country--so you might appreciate my surprise when they quite independently mentioned three of the same concerns about the way women treat their vulvas. Read More

somehow, a man telling women how to take care of their own

Submitted by Barrett on January 20, 2009 - 2:58am.

private parts seems more than a little controlling, arrogant, patronizing, and patriarchal.

I don't see a lot of women telling men how to take care of their penises. I doubt they much care about it since they typically have better things to do.

Don't you have anything better to do than stick your nose into womens' vulvas?

Seems there are a lot of bigger issues in the world you might worry about than telling someone else how to take care of their crotch.

Contrary to popular belief, women can probably manage quite well without men telling them what to do all the time, right down to what underwear to wear (or not).

A man telling women how to take care of their bodies is like a goldfish telling an engineer how to fix the spaceshuttle.

Get over yourself and go mind your own crotch!

Let the female gynos post here themselves instead YOU of just passing the information on from them. They'd have a lot more credibility than a man who's just using the knowledge they were kind enough to share to come here and boss women around and treat them like children who can't take care of themselves.

Good heavens...

Big Yawn.

Submitted by Paul Joannides, Psy.D. on January 20, 2009 - 8:10am.

I'm assuming Barrett is a troll, and if so, my hat's off to his or her wonderful imitation of a second-wave feminist attempt at man-bashing ala 1969. If there were anything of substance being raised about what I actually wrote, I would take it seriously and write a respectful response. In the meantime, I've got to feed the goldfish, or that new space shuttle will never get done.

If labeling someone a

Submitted by Barrett on January 20, 2009 - 9:08am.

If labeling someone a "troll" saves you the inconvenience of actually having to address anything they said about your post, then you go right ahead.

As for the other respondent who says she has her own brain and knows how to use it, I wonder if she likes being treated as if she doesn't by guys like you?

Good luck with that space shuttle, Mr. Fish.

and...

Submitted by Barrett on January 20, 2009 - 9:12am.

speaking of 1969 - "male-bashing"?

You poor thing! Ya seem a tad stuck there yourself.

Project, much?

"Anything of 'substance' being raised"?

Submitted by Anonymous on January 22, 2009 - 4:02pm.

Honey, you (and Psychology Today, it seems) have a "substance" issue...As Barrett said, Go mind your own crotch.

alrighty

Submitted by Olimpia on January 20, 2009 - 6:23am.

then... geez Barrett it's just a blog... just because Joannides says I shouldn't sleep with panties I still will, we still have brains of our own you know? And if I can't feel comfortable sleeping bare by golly I won't. That's that...

Who knew?

Submitted by Amused on January 20, 2009 - 8:01am.

That someone would be so offended by your attempt to open discussion on one of the few topics that is still taboo.

I appreciated the post. Lets see if Girl-Crotch Tuesday really takes off.

Who Knew?...Umm...Just about anybody, except clueless, arrogant

Submitted by Anonymous on January 22, 2009 - 4:13pm.

men with "vulva" fetishes, I guess

Truly..Wouldn't this information seem a BIT more appropriate coming from someone who actually OWNS a "girl crotch"?

Try "Penis Fridays" Dr.Imnotevenanmd..See how that flys.

Thanks much

Submitted by Paul Joannides, Psy.D. on January 22, 2009 - 10:16pm.

Thanks, Amused. I'm not sure yet if the editors of the Psychology Today blogs will allow me to use the term "Girl-Crotch Tuesday." I should have checked with them ahead of time, given that my sense of fun about the subject seems to have offended some. As for alternate names, "Pudenda Tuesday" doesn't quite have the ring to it that "Organa Genitalia Feminina Tuesday" does. I suppose they would prefer something with a more authoritative tone to it. We certainly shouldn't rule out the dark horse of "Vulvovaginal Tuesday," but that feels a bit too medical to me. The OB/GYNs at one of the nation's top medical schools have asked me to present their grand rounds next month, so maybe I'll ask them to weigh in on the subject. In fact, I'll probably be addressing that in next Tuesday's--uh--whatever it's going to be called.

to thong, or not to thong

Submitted by Pussywillow on January 20, 2009 - 8:27am.

Thongs are not necessarily a problem... what's being described sounds more like a g-string.

A good thong will have some width to hug around the vulva and cover the bum-crack, not slide into them with a narrow ribbon of synthetic artificiallity.

I agree.

Submitted by Paul Joannides, Psy.D. on January 22, 2009 - 10:45pm.

I think you are definitely on point here, Pussywillow, and I should be taken to task for not defining my terms. You wouldn't believe how common this kind of definitional sloppiness is in some of the scientific studies I read. After the fact, I polled a couple of women about the subject and found little agreement. Makes me wonder if the term "thong" isn't becoming more generic than specific. In looking at different sources, I did find the Wikipedia explanation to be fairly thorough. The photo at the top right shows the kind of distinction you are addressing between a thong and G-string: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thong_(clothing) This might make a good example for an introductory psychology class. Have the students write a brief definition of what a thong is, and then show how assumptions about something so simple and common can have such variation. It's the kind of example with a good visual hook that some students might just remember when they are in grad school designing questionnaires, surveys and research instruments.

pro girl crotch tues..

Submitted by YG on January 25, 2009 - 9:52am.

Hi Paul,

I think your blog is a very good idea (even girl-crotch tues). Wed. should definitely be "hump-day", though..

It seems that the most taboo of topics such as politics, religion, and sex and our inability to deal with them and discuss them openly is what hurts us the most. If we could discuss all of these things more openly then we wouldn't have so many scared people. People who hate gays because they've never met one, people who don't fully understand how to protect themselves against STDs, people who hate other religions because they don't understand them, all of this political angst when really we all just want the same thing.

We need to properly educate people about all of these issues in an unbiased manner so that all of the ridiculous stereotypes and prejudices can be dissolved. We need to stop being so afraid of sexism, racism, religilism, nationalism, etc, etc, and talk about these things so we can all just GET OVER IT as a world and move one to bigger and better things.

I went to a Catholic school. They told me I would go to hell if I had sex before marriage. Topics like sex were just avoided. So, who do people like that learn from? Either the person sleeping with them or a sexpert on a blog, right? Might as well be you, then.

:) YG

Hi Paul, I would just like to

Submitted by Kat on March 12, 2009 - 12:15pm.

Hi Paul,

I would just like to say that I believe some get too easily offended, and the fact that you are a man giving advice on gynecological issues, should not be a problem at all. You are educated after all. This should not be taken as an attack, but educational information. I am unsure what is so offensing here... I think Barrett needs to get off her high horse