For the 6th edition of my book, I decided to do a chapter titled Vulva Care--Keeping Your Kitty Happy. I was very fortunate to receive the advice of two highly experienced female gynecologists from two different parts of the country--so you might appreciate my surprise when they quite independently mentioned three of the same concerns about the way women treat their vulvas.

However, nothing I say should be construed as medical advice. Check with your healthcare provider and local fire official before burning your thongs, panties or pads.

#1. Thongs are bad. Perhaps you feel your crotch should be a slave to fashion, but thongs can irritate and abrade the skin of your vulva worse than a horny boyfriend with rough hands. Another concern is the way that bacteria from your bum might be using the butt-floss part of your thong to rappel into the opening of your vagina. We all know the evils that can befall a vagina when Mr. Sam Fecal meets Ms. Puss du Pink.

#2. When possible, go commando (without panties) day and night--but especially at night. Contrary to what the manufacturers of women's underwear want you to believe, your kitty needs air to breathe. This doesn't happen too well when you are wearing underwear, even if your panties are made of 100% cotton. It especially doesn't happen when you are wearing panties or pajama bottoms and have the covers on. (Why do so many American women sleep with their panties on? Surely the Sand Man doesn't care if your crotch is bare.)