As You Like It

As a man with hypospadias, I just wanted to thank you for your recenty blog on the subject. One of the biggest gripes I have about the way the medical profession deals with HS is that very little account is taken of the psychological problems it causes, particularly at adolescence and in early adulthood. Your article dealt very well with this issue, and I appreciate it very much.

I and group of friends with HS in the UK are trying to set up a group here to deal with many of these issues. We would like to reference your article - I hope that will be OK
Thanks
Robert

It's good to see an article that addresses the psychological issues around hypospadias. I have to admit it hadn't occured to me that there would be any, but of course there must, since it's a variant penis and hence a bloke thing. You address them well, though "Cheer up, there are others worse off than you" seldom works, and invites the response "Yes, and some are better off too."

Some points:
1. I'm surprised that the author of the wonderful Guide to Getting It On includes two images of circumcised penises. It happens that hypospadias is an absolute contraindication for circumcision, in case they want to use the foreskin for reconstruction, but I guess in the circumcising US, that is often ignored. An intact guy with hypospadias may have a psychological double whammy, and may have trouble untangling the two issues.

2. On the plus side, a guy with hypospadias often seems to have an additional erogenous zone, inside the urethral opening.

3. No, let's talk about intersex conditions, which many of their owners would, it seems, be much happier with if they hadn't been surgically "corrected". The psychological issues there seem to have a great deal to do with the parents' panic and shame, not the child's. You imply that intersexed people have a "real" sex that their bodies deviate from, but some are now refusing to accept that "either-or" and embracing their intersexed status.

Hello:

Thank you for writing this article since it addresses the psychological impact of hypospadias, which I feel that we need to learn more about.

Along these lines, I hope that you can help me.

I was born with hypospadias. Between 1965 (when I was at the age of five) and 1975, I had a series of operations at Children’s Hospital in Boston to correct this birth defect.

Now I’m interested in going to graduate school for a Clinical Psychology/Behavioral Medicine Doctorate and am interested in the psychological impact of hypospadias. I want to do some volunteer work that would be put me in contact with clients with hypospadias and psychologists working together with these clients. The volunteer work would not only be personally meaningful but will help prepare me for admission to a graduate psychology program.

If you know of any psychologists or other medical professionals that could use a potential volunteer like me then I would appreciate hearing from you. I live just outside of Los Angeles, CA. I understand that Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles deals with hypospadius. If you know of somebody there or near Los Angeles that could use a potential volunteer like me then I would appreciate hearing from you.

Any help from you would be greatly appreciated!

Take Care,

BB1

Paul,

I am somewhat surprised that someone finally managed to bring out something different on this subject than what has been available on the net. Thank you so much.

As a hypospadian and someone who has been educating and advocating full participation in life by those with hypospadias, including relationships, the biggest problem seems to be lack of communication in families during childhood.

An attitude of secrecy and shame is perpetuated by frightened parents who are helpless when dealing with a child who asks questions parents do not normally answer, and the lack of support for the "soft" issues so often shown by surgeons.

Fortunately, the state of the art in treatment is changing. Involving the mental health professional in the surgical picture is a great stride forward that is taking place in some centers for excellence in hypospadias repair, and we look forward to that trend expanding.

The other positive is that HEA and other support groups are available now to help deal with parents issues and we assume the tide is turning on the secrecy problem as well. This generation is engaged and does not shrink from the thought of discussing the situation with their sons, so there is a real difference in thought in a positive way on this front as well.

Something Hugh Young said in an earlier post really rang a bell with me as well. The right to be in-between rather than having to conform to one gender or the other; I was born with ambiguous genitalia and did not have surgery to "repair" it. I am glad and grateful that is the case. I hope that in the future there is greater recognition of the existence of those of us who are in the middle of the gender spectrum.

Douglas Jasper
Member, HEA Executive Board

Thanks alot for writing such a Great Article. Its a relief from my psychological turmoil which i am facing since many years. Well I am 27 and had a series of 4-5 Surgical procedure in childhood. and I was never able to find out why I was always under knife after every 3-4 Months.

I know that I am different from others, since I cannot pee while standing from childhood. only 2-3 years ago that I am encouraged myself to start peeing while standing. I am quite an able to do so but still don't have a streamline release, sometime spraying sometime just OK. I also had a history of frequent Urinal Tract infections from last 2-3 years. Now i would be going to marry in 2-3 years. Can You please tell me whether everything is alright or not. as I told you earlier I had undergone a series of surgical procedure in the past. I also think that My penis length is also less than a Normal. I guess around 4.5" to 4.75" fully erect. and around 1" flaccid. Do I have fair chances of having a Child. Can I have a Normal Sexual life. How would my partner take all this. Please Reply.

Thanks Alot!!

The last paragraph of the article was down right rude honestly.
To everyone involved, the injured, those with hypospadias, and those with more serious intersex problems.
It was tasteless and just kind of crude.

Ive got this problem
Ive never talked about it to others,
I like to be with a caring attractive woman,
Never been married to a woman
But i guess I was appreensive that if I was naked in front of an attreactive woman?
id be somewhat nervous as Id like to think that id be attractive in front of her and my equipment would look ok in front of her,
and it would work like normal,

im 18 and i had hyposhadias and my penis is not as big as i think it should be. its small and i was wondering if there is anything i can do to make it bigger without pills or surgery.my girlfriend dont mind it but i do. please any help would be grand.

i am hunter.

im 18 and i had hyposhadias and my penis is not as big as i think it should be. its small and i was wondering if there is anything i can do to make it bigger without pills or surgery.my girlfriend dont mind it but i do. please any help would be grand.

i am hunter.

I love my Hypo because of "Dr.Whitman" who was our town Doctor in Bavaria and knew everything and said "leave it alone" to my mother "its a Hypo".thats how they looked when we were covered with hair and did it from the back (doggy style) .its curved downward slightly and the head grooved at the bottom to rub against the Womans nerve spot ( G spot ) and the opening is lower below the helmet so the sperm hits you guessd it the G spot which feels the warmth of the sperm and then she tightens up and contracts and that makes the man come more until hes finished then she take a while to loosen up and the scrotum also hitting the clitoris stimulated her but now evrybodt thinks they're different not realising that thats how they were...............anyway he knew eveything and the old lady down the street dying from resperatory ..........lived another 10 years after he brought a jug of what looked like urin and roots and leaves and crap ....He saved my sister who ran 105-6 fever with her eyes rolled back in her head and my Mother crying with her finger down her throught to keep her from swallowing her tungue.He was rite there and said "when did it happen?? my Mother said twice in the US and they put her on ice and he asked "when twice???" and when her temperature came down some.he said I'll be back and when he returned said "give her this until all her first teeth are in" thats whats causing it and she never had another convulsion..no matter what he just knew and back then you had the Baker the Gardner the trashman the Mayor all in someone's house drinken and singing more Accordian playing cards.no TV then too boring ........but this Dr was truely amazing and even said people s Appendix was a major part of the intestines and shriveled to nothing cause we dont need it.........I could go on and on but all the woman Ive been with loved it and the thing feels unbelievable because the nerves go down further towards the openig so when yor with a girl tell yhem todays your day cause thers only 1 in every 200 so you hit the lottery honey and then tell her she cant have it and leave..........shell be dying to discover something new thats really old .leave it alone .Im 56 and love my Hypo!! take care

Forgive my spelling!!

Growing up I always knew something was wrong, well different when it came to my penis. I had surgery probably when I was 4 or 5 years old. When I was older 10 - 14 maybe earlier I always had a dream or a memory of a woman looking a my penis touching it moving it, it had me fucked up. I hated not knowing and not understanding. I have a scar and there is still a small hole along the scar line, i dont think it was always there though i only noticed about the time i was 14 which is when i became sexually active. My girl friend didnt care or anything but now there's this hole along this scar on my penis which I have know idea why its there in the first place and now if i dont cork it while I piss, ill piss up the freaking shower curtains. After a while it really started to get to me bothering me real bad.I finally almost by accident said something to my sister about it and she told my parents i was freaking out about my penis and so at the age of 16 they finally decided to tell me what the hell my situation was and they were so fucken blank about it to like yeah your urethra came out the bottom of you penis so have a good day. I didnt even know what it was called until tonight when i finally found these articles on the web including this one. AND IM SO HAPPY I DID!!!! It will bother me for a while but after reading what a lot of you had to say about it at least i feel dignified about it. AT LAST I MEAN DAMN IM 24 lol i think im going to take the approach of the guys response before mine that talks about hitting the G SPOT and say "theres only one in 500 baby" LOL maybe me and my penis can finally be friends.

thank you all so much
-WKM

nearly 22 yr old man had 2 ops when in childhood 3,11 and another when i was 13, *had a very bad case* and from what i can tell you about my experience with this condition is that mentally i became very dangerous for my self and others * paranoid* , basically thinking everyone around me may of knew somthing, may have thought they were better than me etc , i mean i lost the plot completley throughout my teenage years ,but one thing i have always noticed from people with this condition is that we are very observant ,for obvious reason's and shouldn't always look too deep into things and as for the sexual side of things * have to get repaired again*, yes im a very reserved character * as we all are i think * in my opinion i done very well for someone in this position , lost my virginity at age of 17 with an older woman which aint really high five's all round but hey al take it lol and from what iv experienced no woman out there either knows about it or cares about the condition so for all the guys that are reading this remember one thing,don't worry be happy, we wont be here for long so stop worrying and show 'em who's boss =D

Hey there, you guys with Hypospodias equipment:

I was married for 7 years to a man with a (I think) level 1 hypospodias penis. i.e. the urethra emerged just under the tip. Otherwise his penis was completely normal looking. And I just wanted to say, I couldn't have cared less! He was handsome, affectionate, and his penis functioned just like any other except for this one little difference. I certainly didn't mind! When we decided to try to get pregnant it turned out we both had some issues; his was that ejaculating downwards was a bit of an impediment, while I has some scarring of the fallopian tubes, so the doctor collected his sperm, centrifuged it to make the percentage of really active sperm the highest it could be, gave me a mild fertility drug to up the number of eggs I would produce that cycle, and injected his sperm at the exact moment they figured I was ovulating. And what do you know? BINGO! We got our beautiful daughter on the first try. So guys, don't' freak out. Have a good confident, loving attitude. (Our marriage problems had nothing to do with this, I promise.) Now, his hypospodias was not so extreme, but have you ever heard the expression "It ain't the meat, it's the motion"? Well I think most women care more about what you do with your meat than its exact properties, so try not to worry, and good luck to you :)