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Weinergate dominates the news these days, with the shocking (really?) revelations that former Congressman Anthony Weiner has again been exposed (in more ways than one) as involved in another sexting scandal. He stepped down from Congress, amidst revelations he was Tweeting pictures of himself in the nude, to female online dalliances. And now, another woman has come forth with the story that he had been doing similar behaviors, since his resignation from Congress. Why is this news? Because Weiner is running for Mayor of New York.
Are people really surprised at this? Perhaps, as many of the news stories say that Weiner’s behaviors get to questions of his character. The fact that these problems have continued after he got in trouble before, suggests a lack of control, poor judgment and a general untrustiworthiness. But, I think one of the big problems here is that Weiner isn't acting ashamed or embarassed enough about this. Weiner is forcing society to confront it's hypocrisy about sex.
NOTE – Weiner is NOT a sex addict. He has come out publicly, denying that he is a sex addict, admitting that he’s made bad decisions, but that neither he, nor his therapist, believe his problem is a sex addiction. Nevertheless, this hasn’t stopped the sex addiction crowd from unethically, and inappropriately, diagnosing this man they’ve never treated, with a fictional disorder. In various interviews, sex addictionologists have labelled Weiner a sex addict run rampant.
Weiner’s behavior is truly nothing new. Since the dawn of time, male leaders and powerful figures have used the privilege of power to pursue lots of sex. In the Old Testament, King David had hundreds of wives, but still coveted Bathsheba. In the 60’s, John F. Kennedy had more sex in and out of the White House than any President since (probably more than all of them combined). According to legend, Kennedy once said that if he didn’t have sex with a new woman every day, he got headaches. In Italy recently, Berlusconi has been well-known to flaunt his sexual involvement with women, prostitutes and the like. Francois Miterrand, of France, had his wife, and his mistress, in attendance at his public funeral. Mao Zedong allegedly had a preference for young virgins. Genghis Khan reportedly fathered more than a thousand babies. The list goes on and on.
The same qualities of assertiveness, dominance, drive to succeed that dispose these various men to pursue greatness also comes along with other qualities: high libido; egotism; and a sense of entitlement. Society rewards these men with power and greatness, and a position of privilege where their mistakes are often ignored or hushed up. Reporters knew about Kennedy’s mistresses, but they were after bigger stories, like the Cuban Missile Crisis.
But, in today’s fast-paced Internet news driven world, what Larry Flynt calls “gotcha journalism” now drives the media to grab sensationalistic news bites, as soon as possible. There is a race to get them on the news first, to grab market share, before the other guy does. And politicians with their pants down sells ad time.
Plus, in the world of Twitter and Facebook, there ain’t no such thing as privacy anymore. Anything online is there forever (presumably even past the upcoming zombie apocalypse), and is ultimately trackable back to you. Girls Gone Wild started it – there are now hundreds of teachers, doctors, nurses and mothers around the country, who shook their breasts on film. And in ten years, there will be millions of doctors and lawyers and truckdrivers and psychologists and therapists, and lions and tigers and bears, one presumes, who have sexted their naked pictures to someone they trusted at the time.
Society is changing. Private sexual behaviors are now public, or might become public at any moment. In Arthur C. Clarke’s marvelous book, The Light of Other Days, he explores the social effects of a technology that allows people to spy on their neighbors, around the world, and throughout history. One effect is that sex in public loses its taboo. Everyone can see it anyway, if they want to, so there is no longer any reason to pretend it must be private. We are in the midst of a similar seachange. Society is growing more accepting of a wider range of sexual behaviors, from BDSM (Shades of Grey) to homosexuality (gay marriage). The fact that Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, Bill Clinton, Dick Morris, Newt Gingrich and others all continue to have powerful careers after details of their sexual exploits become public suggests that society really doesn’t have a longstanding problem with their sexual behaviors. We are willing to forgive it. But, apparently, the fact that Weiner makes light of this, and isn't hanging his head, saying mea culpas, and publicly emasculating himself, offends people's sensibilities. We want to be lied to.
But we need to change the dialogue. So long as we say that we want our politicians to be celibate or monogamous, what we are going to get is leaders who lie to us. Let’s tell them, as British Minsiter of Parliament Paul Flynn does, that we know that our leaders will have the opportunity to indulge themselves, but dammit, we expect them to use good judgment in this, AND in their governance of our country.
