What Your Child Needs To Know About Sex (And When)

A straight-talking guide for parents

by Fred Kaeser, Ed.D.

Teaching Your Child About Children Who Sexually Abuse

If you have read my previous blogs you know that I give many talks about sex and sexuality to young people at schools in and around New York City. I would guess that I have had the opportunity to speak about some aspect of sexuality to about 40,000 students from prekindergarten through twelfth grade during my career. Read More

What Your 5-Year-Old Needs to Know About Sex

When our kids are infants, many of us really don't think a whole lot about what we're going to say to them about sex when they get older. For the most part the stuff we're going to discuss with them later on is not even on our radar screen as yet. And even if it is, it is all so far off in the future that we think we have a bunch of time to prepare for it, correct? Read More

Take the Parent Sex Education Quiz: Are You an Approachable Parent?

I am both a parent and professional sex educator. I have been a parent for more than nineteen years and I have been a sex educator for more than thirty, and I can tell you one very simple fact that I am sure of. Parents can have more influence on their children's sexual behavior than any sex education program could ever hope to have. Read More

The Eight Most Important Things You Must Tell Your 10 Year Old About Sex

If you've read my previous posts or have read my book you know that I strongly believe that every 10 year old today needs to know as much about sex and sexuality that we would typically think a 16 year old needs to know. Read More

Are You Okay With Your Teen Having Casual Sex?

I've been busy the past couple of hours reading and thinking about Stanley Siegel's most recent blog posts along with some of the commentary by other experts about his post In Defense of Casual Sex. All very fascinating stuff...and as I read all this I must admit to being taken back to my "good old days" when I was a doctoral student in NYU's Human Sexuality Studies program. Read More

Teaching Your Young Child about Homosexuality and Transgenderism

As I have discussed in a number of previous posts, I have spoken to many, many children about a variety of issues pertaining to sex and sexuality. One thing that strikes me as all too common when I address older elementary school and middle school children is their discomfort with homosexuality and their overall lack of awareness of people who are transgender. Read More

Does Your 8 Year Old Want to Know What a Dildo Is? No? Think Again!

I have visited well over a thousand classrooms over the years to speak on many different topics and issues pertaining to sex and sexuality. I have spoken to high school and middle school kids many, many times, but if truth be told I have always enjoyed most my discussions with kids in the elementary school grades. Read More

You Have to Teach Your Child That Sex Can Be Very Good

Contrary to the title of this post, let me say right up front that sex has the potential to be devastating and deadly. If not done with considerable responsibility and forethought, it can ruin one's life and be outright horrible. Read More

Can You Accept Your Sixteen or Seventeen Year Old Having Sex?

Sexual images and messages are all around us these days aren't they? It seems that no matter where you are or where you go, there's something sexual always within reach. I mean if you stop and think about it, in your average day, how long is it before you are exposed to some sort of sexualized message? Read More

Have You Asked Yourself the Question: How Much Sex Is OK for My Child?

It doesn't matter whether I'm speaking to parents of high school, middle school, or elementary school children I will always ask the same question; "How much sexual intimacy will you be okay with your child expressing with another kid before he or she reaches age eighteen"? It's a really important question for all us parents to consider don't you think? Read More

Teaching Your Nine-Year-Old How to Use a Condom

Okay, so let's get some of the values messages out of the way before I go any further with this blog. Before having your first discussion with your nine-year-old son or daughter about condoms, there are some real important values that as a parent you will want to establish with your child. If you have read any of my previous posts these will be familiar to you: Read More

Want to Reduce Teen Sexual Intercourse? Make Sure You Discuss Sexual Feelings with Your Kids

I go out of my way to stress in my book, What Your Child Needs to Know About Sex (and When): A Straight Talking Guide for Parents, that the development of sexual feelings is by far the very biggest and most important change of puberty that we need to discuss with our children. Read More

Are You a Masturbation Educator?

Okay, think what you want about the title of this blog, but exactly how much time have you spent through your parenting years talking to your child about masturbation? Take a moment and think about my question. Read More

Beware the Young Sexualized Bully

When I go into a middle school classroom and announce to the students that I am going to talk to them about the three biggest sex words that exist, they are convinced I am going to say something crazy and outrageous. When I tell them the words are love, respect, and trust, they roll their eyes, their heads drop, and they look terribly disappointed, as though I had let them down or something. Read More

A Parent’s First Mention of “Doing It”? Sometime Between Ages Five and Eight

First of all, five years of age is not too early. Understand one very important fact: you can never be too early but it is possible that you could be too late! If you're one of those parents who's twelve year old has already "done it" you're too late (almost 7% of kids have intercourse in the U.S. BEFORE age thirteen...in various locations it's as much as 15%). Read More

The Super-Sexualization of Children: Time to Take Notice

I remember visiting a first grade class sometime around 1999 to discuss with the students the basics of human reproduction. I had my fair share of invites over the years to speak to young children about various issues pertaining to sexuality, but on this particular day a totally unexpected question was posed to me during my discussion with this class. Read More

When Talking About Sex, Age 10 Is the New 16

Several truths all parents need to remember: If you communicate early and effectively with your child about sex and sexuality, it is likely you will have the following results. Read More

Fred Kaeser, Ed.D., is the former director of health for the NYC Department of Education. He is the author of What Your Child Needs To Know About Sex (And When).

more...

About What Your Child Needs To Know About Sex (And When)

If you start early enough, kids will listen. In Dr. Kaeser's progressive approach, parents become their child's first and primary resource for sexual information. With a winning frankness and empowering attitude, Dr. Kaeser offers parents the tools they need for navigating how and when to have positive dialogues about sexuality with children ages three to the middle school years and beyond.