What Is He Thinking?

Decoding the male psyche.

Michael Bader is a psychologist and psychoanalyst in San Francisco. He is the author of Male Sexuality: Why Women Don't Understand It-and Men Don't Either. See full bio

We Need to Have Empathy for Tea Partiers

The parnoid conspiracy theories found in the Tea-Party movement can be understood as an attempt to find meaning and agency in a world in which they feel helpless and devalued. This sense of meaning and agency currently is provided by the right-wing media machine that blames government and Obama. In order to defeat the Right, progressives need to better understand the psychological sources of right wing paranoia and try to speak to their legitimate components with a different, more humane narrative. Read More

Sex Addiction Is An Excuse For Not Thinking

Increasing numbers of men are being labeled sex addicts and are seeking help through 12-step programs. While helpful to some, these programs tend to not be as effective as those aimed at substance addiction. The reason is that these guys need psychotherapy in order to more deeply understand the meaning of their compulsions and the label "addiction" too often means that such an inquiry is not a priority. The problem is that sexual desire, including compulsive forms of it, always involve complicated psychological meanings. Thus, the rise of yet another aspect of life labeled an "addiction" is part of a broader trend in our culture to approach life's difficulties and problems in a superficial way. Read More

You Don't Know Anything About Tiger Woods, So Shut Up!

Weighing in with judgments about Tiger Woods' character and marriage is absurd on its face. Unfortunately, it reflects a cultural pathology in which we feel we "own" celebrities. The bottom line is: since no one knows really anything about Woods, they should keep their mouths shut. Read More

I Hope Nobody Finds Out: Imposter Syndrome, Survivor Guilt, and the Bane of Progressive Political Organizations

Most people in leadership positions suffer from feelings of fraudulence. Leaders of labor unions and progressive organizations suffering from a special type because of their discomfort with having power and their identification with the powerless an the victim. This conflict takes lots of forms that hold these organizations back. Fortunately, there's a cure! Read More

What Makes Right-Wing Mobs Tick?

What accounts for the passionate irrationality of right wing mobs? For that matter, what accounts for the self-destructive anti-government attitudes of people on the Right who depend on government and would, in fact, benefit from current health reform? The answer lies in their intolerance of helplessness, dependency, and innocence, and in the effect of unconscious guilt in producing paranoia. Read More

Spending Time With Your Doctor is a Radical Demand

To get health care reform, you need the support or people who already have insurance. These latter folks have legitimate needs for care that includes more time with their providers. Including this as a demand in our movement for health care reform is politically advantageous. Read More

Why Women Want to Cuddle and Men Don't

The age-old conflict between women's need to cuddle and gaze after sex and men's need to roll over and sleep (or, in the old days, to have a cigarette), involves distinctly different attitudes about sex and intimacy, both of which are held up as "normal" but both of which are equally neurotic. A psychoanalyst explains what's really going on. Read More

Mega-Churches, Psychology, and Social Change

The Left should go to Church--a mega-church, that is. The rapid growth of mega-churches, including Rick Warren's Saddleback Church in Orange County, California, is a result of their brilliantly conceived strategy of connecting with their members around a wide range of needs. In contrast, progressive organizations see their members in narrow terms using outmoded precepts of psychology. Read More

Frustrated Golfer Syndrome: Causes and Cures

Golfers--especially those of the male variety--can often be seen in various states of frustration, fury, and despair while playing a game that's supposed to be fun. They have Frustrated Golfer Syndrome. Fortunately, it can be cured. Read More

The Difference Between Coaching and Therapy is Greatly Overstated

Coaches go to great lengths to distinguish what they do from psychotherapy. They do so to protect themselves legally and to enhance their professional and financial status. Unfortunately, psychotherapists collude by holding on to outdated paradigms about therapy that are narrow, rigid, and too often unhelpful to clients. Read More

Books by Michael Bader, D.M.H.

Male Sexuality: Why Women Don't Understand It-And Men Don't Either

Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies

Relationships Basics

Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives. But the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. Almost all of us have experienced a failed relationship, and most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.

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Oh, Brother!

Siblings are born to compete for parental attention.

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Books by Michael Bader, D.M.H.

Relationships Basics

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