Web of Loneliness

New thinking about a chronic state of being

Yes, It's True, Introverts Are Less Happy Than Extroverts

However, when it comes to happiness, extroverts do better. This is true even when they are alone, extroverts are happier alone than introverts. Other very important finding, whether introverted or extroverted, both tend to enjoy socializing more than spending time alone. Read More

No, the question isn't how we can act more extroverted

and this article seems to be one more extrovert's take on the differences, poorly researched, defensively upbeat, and glibly written. Why would we need to change? How about just accepting people as they are? What a radical concept.



I am an introvert and yes, I

I am an introvert and yes, I can't change into an extrovert.

As an introvert, I depend on extroverts to help me out a little, approach me, bring me into the fray, etc.

Unfortunately, I think few extroverts are willing to wait for my social warm up period or they see my standoffish-ness as a potential rejection and then label me a "snob" (which as often happened).

As for women...well, it seems as if they outright despise a man for being an introvert (for making them have to extend an effort) or they pity his shyness.

We assume extroverts are confident to approach anyone, but I believe that's not true. I think they are a little afraid to approach someone who might look a little unapproachable.

That's too bad, I don't mind being "rescued by an extrovert when I'm in a wallflower situation. I can be a strong loyal friend, or even a faithful passionate lover, to someone that takes a chance on me.

As for introverts as potential love interests: We might like to be inward and shy of crowds, but then, so do tigers.


That's awesome

I like the tiger analogy. :)

Oh man I do like that tiger

Oh man I do like that tiger comparison too, now that explains why I had a time phase where I only baught tiger shirts :D

wishing you all the best, from a fellow introvert!

Why does this ignorant garbage get published?

I'm usually too happy to bother replying to this garbage but this was exceptionally lame.

Completely agree.

Completely agree.

You sound like a little

You sound like a little whiney C-Word.

Also, The happiness mentioned

Also, The happiness mentioned here seems to tie solely on the joy of connecting with people. Pretty sure there are more different kinds of joy than that to make up what we call happiness.

And for the feeling of connecting with people more, is there an established, unbiased finding confirm that extroverts made better connections with people than introverts?

I agree. Some of the most

I agree. Some of the most profound and joyful moments I have had were spent alone, meditating,hiking, practicing yoga, or painting, etc. I have also found much joy and happiness in the company of others but feel both solitude and company are equally valuable in achieving happiness.

My bf is an extremely social person but I'm not convinced his friendships are any greater or more deeply connected in nature than mine.

When extroverts shut up for more than 10sec, then we'll be able to talk!

We would come out of our shells more, if extroverts would shut up & occasionally let us speak.
I've had extroverts talk right over me when I try to say something—and they stil have nerve to complain that I don't talk enough. They can go frell themselves.

extrovert happier than introvert article

I think this is a poorly researched book and article as well. if extroverts and reporters would shut up and not be judgemental about introverts, then there would not be a problem. I am an introvert and I am happy being an introvert. once I get to know a person I come out of my shell and become more extroverted. but generally speaking, I am introverted and am happy being introverted.

What were the specific measures?

I'd be interested in knowing what the measures for happiness actually were. It doesn't say it in this article so could you please shed more light on that? I don't have the book.

Introverts experience happiness differently which would skew the results.

Specific measures

Hi Kristen, I would really recommend reading the chapter and getting more understanding behind how they addressed critiques concerning extroversion/introversion and happiness measurements. I couldn't do it justice on here. But they did go through specifically ideas behind how happiness is defined and the possible overlaps in measurement between extroversion and happiness.

Please read this book Mr Seepersad

Hello, i don't think you will regret at all reading the book "Quiet : THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN'T STOP TALKING". Please read and ponder. Another thing, why so much emphasis on "scientific" research findings in a psychology website ? Psychology is not a science. And findings can vary. Also, because majority of population is extroverted, there is every chance of bias in interpreting outcomes.

As an introvert, this is the

As an introvert, this is the only article on this website I have read about introversion that rings completely true to me.

However, the term introversion covers a whole range of people and personalities. Some introverts (like me) are primarily social (that is, they feel that connection with others is what really matters, deep down) despite being introverted, and these are the people who are less happy than extroverts....longing for more connection and intimacy, but not sure how to go about it. I know I would be happier if I were extroverted.

Other introverts are truly happy alone, and feel that their "center" of life is their job or art or science or writing or something like that.

I am happy for this article though because it's a frank statement about socially-oriented introverts that seems to be missing from the discussion. The author just needs to address the broad spectrum of introversion... and should also check their grammar for run-on sentences :)

Introverts may be happier if

Introverts may be happier if society stopped continually comparing them to extroverts and trying to make them think there is something wrong with the way they are.

I think there is a kernel of

I think there is a kernel of truth to the article. There are a number of reasons why it might be so, but whatever the case extroverts are generally happier than introverts. However, it is also true that introverts are generally more talented than extroverts. Music, literature, the arts, science etc introverts have an advantage (something many will go to great lengths to deny).

I just wonder if it is the

I just wonder if it is the definition of the word "happiness" that is the hang-up...... After all, quiet enjoyment and contentment are not exactly how an extrovert might experience happiness, or how the dictionary would describe it..... Maybe happiness is a subjective term.

Different strokes

That’s an excellent point.

It reminds me of classified ads . . . recruiting a housemate, for example, saying they seek someone who “likes to have fun.” I always wonder: Does someone out there not like to have fun? The only question is: What, to an individual, qualifies as “fun”? If they mean sitting around drinking beers, exchanging drunken half-truths, and depositing said beers into a porcelain bowl at evening’s end; then, no, I don’t like having “fun.” At any rate, I figure their search for a fun housemate probably doesn’t encompass my concept of fun. So I bypass their ad, continue my search, and leave them to do likewise.

Think the same thing lol

...about "loving to have fun". My mental reaction could best be described as 'blank'.

I don't know, I'm an

I don't know, I'm an introvert and I get bored when I'm around most people because I don't like small talk, I love specific subjects.
I tend to have very close friends who are introverts, honest people, and I prefer to deal with them, they're enough for me.
I also have my art which I develop in the time I take for myself.
Growing up is harder as an introvert, but as soon as you discover your passions and how to live, maybe we can be life-long happy and that's enough for me.

Im happy as an introverted person

Should I turn into a chameleon whenever there is an extroverted group or person and act like them even though I don't feel like it? I have "acted extroverted" before and ended up feeling so miserable, fake and hypocritical. Night comes and I;m in bed having a heated argument with myself, and beating myself up for not being true to myself and authentic.

I have an extroverted friend that sometimes I wish I was like her, she is so outgoing and fun. Unfortunately I was born this way. I enjoy being around her when we get together. But after a day full of too much excitement, I get home feeling happy because I had a chance to get out of my own shell for a minute, but happier that I'm in my own natural environment alone.

These outings don't happen too frequently, but when they do, I make sure to have the best time and enjoy the moment. I feel the fear, but do it anyways.

Extroverts need external stimulation to be happy

There have been numerous studies that show extroverts are dependent on other people or events to feel optimal. Their systems aren't as sensitive so they need more from the world. An introvert doesn't need as much stimulation since they are already getting it at lower levels. That sounds like a recipe for happiness to me.

I supppose Im an introvert,

I supppose Im an introvert, though I am not shy at all. If I need to speak or socialize I do it fairly well. I have a few friends and yes I love to socialize with them. Nevertheless, as any introvert, I prefer to limit the amount of time with people. So yes, I am very happy with people and maybe happier than when I am alone in a joyful sense, but the limit to feel happier with people is probably greater than it is for extroverts. After a while I get tired of it and I need to be by myself where I feel peaceful (which I suppose is not considered happiness in this study). If the study asked me about happiness in terms of joy of course it would be with my friends. But that shuts out all the peaceful times that I have with myself and the fact that the joy is not stable either when I am with people. If the study just asked people when they felt happpier in terms of joy of course it concluded that since both groups mentioned 'being with people' the only conclusion should be that extroverts are happier, but I would say that that is a very skewed conclusion and not a very scientific one.

Emotional and Psychological conditions- Extravert and Intravert

Are extraverts and introverts prone to different types of emotional psychological conditions for example which type, if any, is more prone to anorexia. Which type is more likely to attempt and or to commit suicide?

Is it possible that extraverts who are more concerned with how they appear to others put on a happy face (which may convince others and themselves that they are happier?) Are extraverts more likely to pretend to be happy - knowing that being happy is a characteristic which will make them more likeable?

Are introverts who introspect more likely to tell the truth - because they are telling it to themselves

Do introverts and extraverts define happiness differently


When I look more into the book you are recommending, I see it's positively oriented toward Solitude. So, I'm not sure why this post emphasizes what introversion -which is associated with solitude - is lacking.

For example, here is an Editorial Review listed right on the product page:

"Solitude has had a bad name in our society, and in our psychology: it is often equated with isolation, loneliness, shyness, and social awkwardness. The Handbook discusses these, but abundantly treats the other side solitude that fosters insight, connection, creativity, introspection, healing, and enlightenment. This is a badly needed and broadly focused antidote for the negative approach, and its group of expert contributors provides a fuller understanding of a state people often experience, and sometimes need.
—Peter Suedfeld, Dean Emeritus of Graduate Studies and Professor Emeritus of Psychology, The University of British Columbia

Do introverts tend to over-control as opposed to under-control emotions

Do introverts tend to over-control, i.e. internalize as opposed to over-control, i.e. externalise emotions, resulting in introverts slow release making them appear solemn as opposed to extraverts quick release making them seem exuberant, i.e. releasing frustration there an then and moving on

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Sean Seepersad, Ph.D. is the President/CEO of the Web of Loneliness Institute, Inc., adjunct professor at the University of Connecticut, and author of The Lonely Screams.


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