Everyone I know has too much to do. Although we say, "When I finish this project, I'll have time for me," we never have time. There is always something else to do on the list.
What's worse, we feel guilty for not doing things that have been on the list for years. We run around out of breath and angry with ourselves for not living up to our potential.
We can't create more time. It's not likely we will find time. Time is never on our side.
The solution is to free ourselves from the tyranny of the to-do list.
When you have a rare spare moment, instead of asking yourself what you need to do, ask yourself, "What would I like to be free of in my life?"
Start with your list of things that you would like to do someday. If you don't have a list, make one. Then take a pen and scribble through the items that realistically, you will never do.
When I did this, I crossed off spending time on LinkedIN, learning Spanish, writing a book chapter for a friend, and reading the books on my night stand. My night stand is now delightfully clear.
This exercise has been very useful for my female executive clients. Women tend to multi-task more than men. And high-achieving women overlap projects as well as multi-task. Before they finish one project, they are planning the next, and the next. They just keep moving around the piles on their desks.
My favorite questions to ask are:
What can you say no to now?
What can you release to be free?
The items on your list are not promises. They are just ideas you once thought were good. But you haven't found the time to do them, so they obviously aren't priorities. Crossing them off the list is not giving up something you always wanted. You are letting go of false promises you made to yourself that you can't keep. Just breathe a sigh of relief as you cross them off the list.
Taking things off the list can be painful. But some ideas and projects are past their shelf life and need to be tossed.
When you let go of ideas, projects, or even dreams that you are not likely to start much less achieve, you free up the space to focus on what is most important to you now. This clears the clutter from your work and your life.
What can you cross off your list? What dream must you grieve so you can relieve the guilt? What can you say goodbye to so you can say hello to more space?
Declare what you will take off your list by commenting below. Then tell me what you feel now that you are free of the burden of these promises.
Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D. is author of Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction. She is also the president of Covisioning, a leadership coaching and training company working with a variety of people and organizations around the world to develop leaders and increase employee collaboration.
