Despite being an avid fan of Law & Order: SVU for the last three seasons, I have never experienced firsthand what the American legal process was like, until my first and (I pray, last) jury duty experience.
This trial really starts when I was 18, an age at which I naively believed that whom I voted for President would make a huge difference in the world. In a way it did, because exercising my right to vote inadvertently put me into the jury service lottery. At least that's what Judge Lance Ito said, when he stopped by my jury room. It seemed, he too had been sentenced to jury service as well.
Luckily, I was always in school or traveling to avoid this civic duty. But a month ago, I received in the mail, a final jury duty notice saying that if I didn't come into the courthouse in person, I would be incarcerated and fined. Even though I had sent the court my lease in Chicago and proof of new residency, Los Angeles still had a way of dragging me back to the place of my first voting transgression.
Jury Selection
An older judge resembling a television judge imprisons us in a courtroom for nearly eight hours as he and two lawyers ask us, a group of 36 potential jurors, about our hopes, dreams and biases. A few smart individuals are immediately excused when they say things like, "I hate cops. I mean... I don't like cops." or "I don't understand the question" (in response to every question). I try to get eliminated by saying that I have many personal biases against all people, have not kept a secret since the 6th grade and that everyone close to me is a lawyer.
Naturally, I am selected as juror No.4.
Opening Statements
The case is regarding grand theft of a cell phone. Yes, a cell phone. We are renting a courtroom for about $7,000 a day for a criminal trial concerning a $150 cell phone.
Presentation of Evidence
The evidence consists solely of the testimonies of the defendant and person who claims to have been robbed. It's weird because I know someone is lying, but who? I begin to think that the Academy Award panel would make better jurors-- instead of handing out sentences, they can give Oscars to the most convincing performances. The seats are uncomfortable, and I have to turn my cell phone off, which kills me because I am just about to beat Angry Birds, level 14.
Closing Arguments
I have a verdict in mind, even though I'm not supposed to. It rhymes with Guilty.
Jury Deliberations
Highlights:
- We elect the foreman, a woman who doesn't speak English and seems to have forgotten the entire trial that has taken place.
- 15 minute debate on defendant's fashion choice.
- 15 minute discussion on breakfast. Specifically, the pros and cons of donuts and bagels.
- 20 minute discussion about the parable of King Solomon and the mothers.
- 1 man falls asleep.
In the end, we were a hung jury, which means not only was justice not served, but there is a chance that this trial will be retried and another group of unsuspecting voters will be forced to play Sherlock Holmes in the courtroom.
I was also robbed of a real verdict.
Had the defendant been found guilty, he would have been subject to California's three-strike law, which would have given him 25 years in prison. A little extreme, but it got me thinking-- what would other countries do?
U.K.
Throughout England and Wales, theft is considered a moderate offense, meaning the cell phone trial would have been tried in a Magistrates' Court or the Crown Court. Magistrates or Justices of the Peace act like judges and jurors, enjoying both perks, such as deciding verdicts to issuing arrest warrants for an extended period of time. There are two kinds of magistrates: district judges and voluntary magistrates. Get this: This latter group must apply to become a magistrate! While most Americans are severing limbs and giving themselves pink eye to get out of jury duty, these Brits eagerly fill out an application in hopes of serving.
Had the defendant been found guilty in the magistrate court, he would have most likely had to pay a fine and/or serve a short jail sentence.
Typically, only very serious crimes-- those in John Grisham novels-- are heard in the Crown Court, which is where a jury of 12 very unlucky jurors is brought into deliberate.
China
Up until earlier this year, if you stole a cultural relic or a precious animal from China, you were a candidate for the death penalty. While that's probably good news for those of you who were planning on stealing a Giant Panda, it's not so good news for regular thieves, as general crimes encroaching on property are still considered capital offenses, and may subsequently, subject to capital punishment, if convicted. Check out the entire list here:
This list might be the reason why China tops the world list for number of death sentences and executions.
Saudi Arabia
According to the Qur'an, theft is considered a very serious crime, akin to murder and adultery. Once convicted under Saudi law, thieves may likely find themselves without a helping hand, literally-- as the penalty for stealing is cutting off a hand. While this punishment might seem a little excessivel, it is also extremely effective.
And even something as minor as stealing a cell phone could warrant you having to wear a hook, like Buster. Recall in 2007 when "an Egyptian national had his right hand cut off after he was convicted of pick-pocketing."
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